Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.” This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. Baseball. b. Football. c. How fat you are. d. How much prettier she is than you. e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died. (Perhaps the best response to this question was
Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.” Inappropriate responses include: a. Oh Yeah, loads. b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? c. That depends on what you mean by love. d. Does it matter? e. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!” Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what? b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin. c. A little extra weight looks good on you. d. I’ve seen fatter. e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is always: “Of course not!” Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality. b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner. c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age. d. Define pretty.. e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question# 5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.
(The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!“). I hope this has been helpful to the many men in the world, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Also ladies please remember Don’t shoot the messenger! HAVE A WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY PEOPLE! And whatever you do,don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“I knew of no instruction manual for reaching a higher level of humanity and a greater wisdom. But I felt intuitively that laughter was the beginning of wisdom, as is was indispensable for survival.”
“Laughter with those that understand us is music for the soul. A hug at the right moment and a kind shoulder to lean on, Is the sprinkle of magic that keeps us walking towards hope.” ―
“The more stressful the job, the more intentional I’ve always been about helping my team members find joy in our work. Laughter is the outward manifestation of joy, so I believe if I’m doing it right, and helping people connect to the meaning and joy in their work, there will be laughter in the workplace. Laughter is also a good indication that people aren’t taking themselves too seriously.” ―
“The weak or the majority choose comfortable chaos, the wise man laughs.”
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
directed to the sofa department. The salesman who greeted them
was a chauvinistic good ol’ boy who knew that his chances of
making a sale were always much better when dealing with a
married couple. Still, he reluctantly began showing them the
sofas, settees and love seats.
“What we’re really looking for is an upholstered footstool
that’s long and wide,” one woman admitted.
“Oh, I might have known,” responded the salesman, “but I don’t
think either of you are going to be able to find anything like
that. I’ve always felt a woman can’t get a long width ottoman.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“Why don’t you love me, Jenny? I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”
ANSWER: Forrest Gump! In this scene Forrest (Tom Hanks) has asked Jenny (Robin Wright) to marry him and adds “I’d make a good husband, Jenny.” She agrees, but says the first line. Forrest comments with the second. “Forrest Gump” won Best Picture in the 1995 Academy Awards and Tom Hanks won Best Actor in a Leading Role for his portrayal of Forrest Gump. The movie follows the life of low-I.Q. Forrest, including his accidental experiences with some of the most important people and events in America from the late 1950s through the 1970s, and his encounters with the love of his life, Jenny. Chevy Chase turned down the role of Forrest.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill ya.”
TODAY’S TRIVIA GODDESS AWARD OF THE DAY GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! 🙏🙏🙇🙇🙅
Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….
As you command water – or any liquid – to flow upwards! Could you be tampering with the secrets of the Earth?
Wednesday’s Quizzer is……
Starting letter: A
2. one, some, every, or all
3. greenish blue
4. careful and shrewd
5. Grand ——
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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