Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Monday October 15, 2018.

Ten Things A Cat Thinks About
1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
2. Is there something I’m not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
3. Why doesn’t the government do something about dogs?
4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives?
5. Hmmm … If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can’t we cats ever
get these STUPID dogs to do anything for us?
6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.
7. Hey — no kidding, I’m sure that’s the can opener.
8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn’t given
them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?
9. If there’s a God, how can He allow neutering?
10. If that really was the can opener, I’ll play finicky just to let THEM know who’s boss!
HAVE A WONDERFUL MONDAY PEOPLE! And whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


“Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered a pair of socks meant to be worn with sandals from 2,000 years ago. Scholars say it’s evidence of the first German tourist.” -Conan O’Brien

“A study has found that some people can suffer symptoms of withdrawal when they are forced to stay away from social media sites. This is why I’m not even on Facebook. I update my high school yearbook manually with a pen.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A man in Oregon was arrested for growing marijuana after police used Google Earth to track him down. So if you’re one of those crazy conspiracy theorists who thinks the government is watching you with satellites from space, you were right.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six-
year-old daughter missed her school bus.

The father, though late for work, had to drive her if she’d
direct him to the school.

They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the
first time, several more before she indicated another turn.
This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached
the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their

The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she’d led
him around in such a circle.

The child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes,
Daddy. It’s the only way I know.”😁

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

“It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy.”
“What do you mean, you mean the way I talk?”

ANSWERGoodfellas! In this scene several mobsters are socializing at a nightclub when Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) tells a story. Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) reacts with the first line. Hair-trigger Tommy suddenly gets serious and says the second line and then adds, “You mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you?” He later acts like it was all an act and says, “I almost had him.” Although the characters in “Goodfellas” were fictionalized, the story was based on actual incidents and people. When the real Henry Hill entered the Witness Protection Program he was relocated to Redmond, WA, and while there he ran an Italian restaurant. In the 1991 Academy Awards, Joe Pesci won the Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role and “Goodfellas” was nominated but did not win in five more categories (including Best Picture). Best Picture that year was won by “Dances with Wolves.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“You know ______, I read about you all in the papers, and I just get scared.”
“Now Ms. Parker, don’t you believe what you read in all them newspapers.”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near
synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Our – Start
2. Strip – Tumble
3. Clause – Idea
4. Cash – Broom
5. Plight – Lam

Answer:  1. Sour – Tart
2. Trip – Stumble
3. Cause – Ideal
4. Crash – Boom
5. Light – Lamp


Monday’s Quizzer is…

Solve the two riddles. The answers should be anagrams of each other.

(Thing 1)
You use me when you want to cook
For friends or family.
But, whether written down or not,
It’s best you stick to me.

(Thing 2)
I like to think that I’m a skill,
Not just some old technique.
People do me to their ears,
Or nose, or tongue, or cheek.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

LINKS:, CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store



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