Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

44701879_1231687513648672_7711204083037634560_n

WELCOME to Monday October 29, 2018.

The Computer is Gender Confused….
A language teacher was  explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English  counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. ‘”House” in French, is feminine – “la maison”, while “pencil” in French is masculine – “le crayon.”‘
One puzzled student asked, “What  gender is a computer?” The teacher thought it would be a good exercise  to have the students decide what they thought the gender should be. So she  split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked
them to decide whether “computer” should be a masculine or a  feminine noun. The men’s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computer”), because:    
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you constantly find yourself spending more money on accessories for it.

 

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine “le computer”) because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A WONDERFUL MONDAY PEOPLE!

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“Two guys in New Hampshire were arrested after they tried to rob a group of people playing Bingo. Cops became suspicious when they saw a car driving away from the Bingo hall going more than 10 miles an hour.” -Jimmy Fallon😁

“Music duo Hall & Oates is reportedly suing a company over a cereal named Haulin’ Oats. Though the company says it’s totally different because in their cereal, oats is the star.” -Seth Meyers 😐

“A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don’t drink at all. At least, that’s what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice.” -Jimmy Kimmel



G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Real Signs In Shop Windows

Signs In a clothing store:
“Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

In the window of an Oregon general store:
“Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?”

In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
“Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but
their own graves.”

On a Tennessee highway:
“Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is
impassable.”

From the safety information card in America WestAirline
seat pocket: “If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this
card, please tell a crew member.”

On a Maine shop:
“Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible
prices and workmanship.”

On a delicatessen wall:
“Our best is none too good.”



Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

“I don’t know about this beaming stuff. Is it safe?”
“Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.”

ANSWER: Spaceballs.. In this scene Commanderette Zircon (Leslie Bevis) has just asked President Skroob “Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir?” He is apprehensive and asks the question in the first line. She replies with the second line. George Lucas (the “Star Wars” director) was a big fan of Brooks’ previous films and his company (Industrial Light and Magic) constructed the light sabers for “Spaceballs.” A recurring line from this movie is “May the Schwartz be with you,” which is a parody of the “Star Wars” line “The Force will be with you, always.” Mel Brooks not only directed this movie and co-wrote the screenplay for it but he also acted in it as both President Skroob and Yoghurt.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“What’s the T-shirt say?”
“I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to catch up.”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

The word candy can be spelled with just 2 letters. Can you guess which ones?😁😎

Answer:  c and y


Monday’s Quizzer is…

Below are incomplete words. Place three (3) letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

unf (_ _ _ ) est
to (_ _ _) tures
hic (_ _ _) ful
eit (_ _ _) etic
fee (_ _ _) eder
he (_ _ _) ful



LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s