Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday October 30, 2018.

it’s National Biblical Pun Day. Today we take a look at the top biblical puns of the day!

1. Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A: Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

2. Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A: Pharaoh’s daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

3. Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A: Ruth-less.😁

4. Q: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible? A: Nebuchadnezzar; he was on grass for seven years.

5. Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

6. A: David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. A: Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.

7. A: 2 Cor. 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen, “We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement.”

8. Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson; he brought the house down.😱

9. Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the Big Inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

10. Q: How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A: They were really put out.

11. Q: What is one of the first thing that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out? A: They really raised Cain.

12. Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A: Your mother ate us out of house and home.

13. Q: How long did Cain hate his brother? A: As long as he was Abel!

14. Q: The ark was built in 3 stories and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories? A: They used floodlights.

15. Q: After the flood, how many people left the ark ahead of Noah? A: 3 because the Bible says that Noah went forth out of the ark.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A WONDERFUL TUESDAY PEOPLE!

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“A London architect has come up with a concept for a floating hotel that is self-sustaining and could potentially move around the world. Great job, architect. You just invented the cruise ship.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study shows that elected leaders don’t live as long as their defeated opponents. So if there’s a candidate you really don’t like, vote for them.” -Stephen Colbert

“Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don’t know; that actually might make me START smoking.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn’t
bother her much until one evening when her husband called
from the hall, somewhat dismayed: “Honey, what happened to
the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it.”😐

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “What’s the T-shirt say?” “I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to catch up.”

ANSWER:The Sum of All Fears! In this scene U.S. CIA director Bill Cabot (Morgan Freeman) and his assistant Jack Ryan (Ben Affleck) are inspecting a Russian factory where nuclear bombs are being decommissioned. Cabot sees one worker with a T-shirt that has writing in Russian on it. He asks one of his Russian hosts for a translation with the first line and the host replies with the second. Affleck is the third actor who has played the character of Jack Ryan in movies made from Tom Clancy stories. The first two were Alec Baldwin in “The Hunt for Red October” (1990), Harrison Ford in “Clear and Present Danger” (1994), and Harrison Ford in “Patriot Games” (1992).

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Yes – it wasn’t logical.”
“You were a TOMATO. A tomato doesn’t have logic! A tomato can’t move!”

Monday’s Quizzer is…….

Below are incomplete words. Place three (3) letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

unf (_ _ _ ) est
to (_ _ _) tures
hic (_ _ _) ful
eit (_ _ _) etic
fee (_ _ _) eder
he (_ _ _) ful

Answer: unfold – oldest
topic – pictures
hiccup – cupful
either – heretic
feeble – bleeder
heart – artful

Tuesday’s Quizzer is……

According to U.S. law, there are officially designated days that all U.S. flags are to be flown at half-mast (for example: Memorial Day).

The President and state governors also have the right to declare certain days that flags are to be flown at half-mast.

There is a particular group of U.S. flags that are never lowered to half-mast and appear to “violate” this U.S. Law. These flags were

erected by U.S. Military personnel, but those troops will never be accused of doing anything wrong for those violations.

These flags are currently displayed today, and they have been for numerous years. Where is this particular group of flags displayed?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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