Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday November 2, 2018.

Real Product Warning Labels……
On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be how??..)
On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s “just” a suggestion).
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” (and you thought?..)
On packaging for a Sears iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me more time)?
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness..” (and…I’m taking this because?..)
On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to…..what)?
On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.” (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash, wait didn’t I see this sign on the white house?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)
On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND PEOPLE!

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“It’s strange that I could have laughed so hard under those circumstances, during that very dark moment in my life. But I’ve decided sorrow can make things funnier. Endure enough hardship, and you start really needing a good laugh.”
― Katherine Center, How to Walk Away
 
“Although my mother didn’t know anything about science, she had a great influence on me as well. In particular, she had a wonderful sense of humor, and I learned from her that the highest form of understanding we can achieve are laughter and human compassion” ― Richard Feynman

“Laughter with those that understand us is music for the soul.
A hug at the right moment and a kind shoulder to lean on,
Is the sprinkle of magic that keeps us walking towards hope.”
― Mimi Novic

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning. When
he reached the top, his weight bent the blade down to the
ground. Then, twisting his thorax with insectile precision,
he grabbed a hold of the next blade.

In this manner, he traveled across the lawn, covering as much
distance vertically as he did horizontally, which both amused
and delighted me.

And then, all at once, I had what is sometimes called an
“epiphany”; a moment of heightened awareness in which every-
thing becomes crystal clear.

Yes, hunched over that ant on my hands and knees, I suddenly
knew what I had to do… Quit drinking before noon. 😱😁




Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Look, John, we can’t have you running around out there wastin’ friendly civilians.” “There are no friendly civilians!”

ANSWER: Rambo: First Blood! In the events leading up to this scene, ex-Green Beret John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) walks into a small Washington town to look up a buddy from the Vietnam War, only to learn that he is the last surviving member of his unit. Local sheriff Will Teasle (Brian Dennehy) doesn’t like his drifter look and gives him a ride out of town. However, Rambo gets his back up over being forced to do something and he walks back to town in search of something to eat. Sheriff Teasle then arrests him for vagrancy and brings him to the local jail, where his deputies try to force-shave him. Sight of the razor causes Rambo to flash back to memories of Communist torture in a prison camp in Vietnam. He goes berserk, breaks free, commandeers a motorcycle and flees into the nearby mountain. As the police force try to capture him,  Rambo uses his well-honed survival and combat skills to cripple them and warn Teasle to leave him alone. Rambo’s former commanding officer Colonel Samuel Trautman (Richard Crenna) arrives, trying to negotiate a truce by radio. In this scene Trautman says line one and Rambo replies with line two. This movie had several sequels, which put Sylvester Stallone in the unusual position of having two mega-hit series at the same time (his “Rocky” movie sequels were occurring during this same time period).

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.”  “Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don’t have men killed.”

Thursday’s Quizzer is…….

What is the smallest whole number that, when written out, uses all the vowels, A, E, I, O, U and even Y one and one time only each in its spelling?
Answer:  6020
sIx thOUsAnd twEntY


Friday’s Quizzer is…

In this teaser, I will give you a list of clues and the answer, with all the letters, but the word year, missing. Your job is to figure out what to add to the word year to get the answer to the clue.

Example: Reading Glasses = *Y**EAR
Answer: EYEWEAR

1. Word for word, without reading = *Y *EAR*
2. New York Birthplace of F.D.R. = *Y*E *AR*
3. Caveat Emptor = **YE* ***AR*
4. Person engaged in reverie = **Y**EA**R
5. Student at Harvard or Yale, e.g. = **Y *EA***R
6. Seafood restaurant = *Y**E* *AR
7. Old sage who doesn’t shave = ***Y*EAR*
8. Extra-powerful, souped up = *Y*E***AR***
9. Absolutely transparent = **Y**** **EAR
10. Place to drop off clothes = **Y **EA**R
11. Jellystone resident = Y*** *EAR
12. Headache remedy since 1899 = **YE* A***R**

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

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