Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Monday November 5, 2018.

Here are some real answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:
The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
The Seventh  Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached the UK.
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, & he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times.
Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT MONDAY PEOPLE!

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

“A new study found that good-looking people are more likely to have daughters than sons. And ugly people are more likely to have cats.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A New Jersey restaurant is offering a special menu this month that doesn’t list prices, but instead asks customers to pay what they think is fair. According to the sign in the window, the restaurant is called ‘This Space for Rent.'” -Seth Meyers 😎

“They say it now costs $250,000 to raise a child to age 18, and that doesn’t count college, which is like $50,000 a year. So kids, if you want to give dad a great Father’s Day gift, run away.” -Jimmy Kimmel 😁

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat
as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as
the feature was about to start a baby boomer from the center
of the row got up and started working her way out. “Excuse
me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops,
excuse me.”

By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her
and I was a little impatient so I said, “Couldn’t you have
done this a little earlier?” “No!!” she said in a loud
whisper, “The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just
flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car.” 😱

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.” “Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don’t have men killed.”

ANSWER: The Godfather! In this scene Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) is talking to his girlfriend, Kay Adams (Diane Keaton) near Kay’s New Hampshire school after Michael’s return from Sicily. He is trying to persuade her to marry him. When Michael tells Kay, “I’m working for my father now, Kay. He’s been sick — very sick,” she says, “But you’re not like him, Michael. I thought you weren’t going to become a man like your father. That’s what you told me.” Then Michael says line one and Kay responds with line two. Michael then says, “Oh. who’s being naive, Kay?”

In the 1973 Academy Awards “The Godfather” won three Oscars, including Best Picture, and Marlon Brando for Best Actor in a Leading Role. Al Pacino, James Caan, and Robert Duvall were all nominated for Best Actor in a Supporting Role, but didn’t win. Some of the other actors who were considered for or who wanted the role of Michael (Al Pacino’s role) included Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson, Dustin Hoffman, Robert De Niro, Martin Sheen, Rod Steiger, Alain Delon, Burt Reynolds, and Robert Redford.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“You’re a wizard, ______.”
“I’m a what?”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

In this teaser, I will give you a list of clues and the answer, with all the letters, but the word year, missing. Your job is to figure out what to add to the word year to get the answer to the clue.

Example: Reading Glasses = *Y**EAR

1. Word for word, without reading = *Y *EAR*
2. New York Birthplace of F.D.R. = *Y*E *AR*
3. Caveat Emptor = **YE* ***AR*
4. Person engaged in reverie = **Y**EA**R
5. Student at Harvard or Yale, e.g. = **Y *EA***R
6. Seafood restaurant = *Y**E* *AR
7. Old sage who doesn’t shave = ***Y*EAR*
8. Extra-powerful, souped up = *Y*E***AR***
9. Absolutely transparent = **Y**** **EAR
10. Place to drop off clothes = **Y **EA**R
11. Jellystone resident = Y*** *EAR
12. Headache remedy since 1899 = **YE* A***R**

Answer: 1. BY HEART

Monday’s Quizzer is…

What is represented with this rebus?

2. Blame
3. Blame
4. Blame
5. Blame

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

LINKS:, CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store


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