Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday November 7, 2018.

THE MODERN TOOLBOX:
Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
Screwdriver – The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage
you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.
Phillips Screwdriver – The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.
Pliers – A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
Multi-Pliers – Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.
Electronic Stud Finder – An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
Halogen Light – A work light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you’re working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
Cordless Drill – A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.
Cordless Telephone – The handyman’s 911.
Air Compressor – A mechanical device similar in principal to harnessing the power of your mother-in-laws nagging complaints and using the resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house.

Chainsaw – Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips – A pair of helping hands that doesn’t critique the job you’re doing or offer advice.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY PEOPLE!

Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“Laughter with those that understand us is music for the soul.
A hug at the right moment and a kind shoulder to lean on,
Is the sprinkle of magic that keeps us walking towards hope.” ― Mimi Novic
“The more stressful the job, the more intentional I’ve always been about helping my team members find joy in our work. Laughter is the outward manifestation of joy, so I believe if I’m doing it right, and helping people connect to the meaning and joy in their work, there will be laughter in the workplace. Laughter is also a good indication that people aren’t taking themselves too seriously.” ― James Comey
“In life, you can choose to cry about the crap that happens to you or you can choose to laugh about it. I choose laughter.” ― Kevin Hart

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into a hotel and, because he was concerned that the dining room might close soon, left his luggage at the front desk and went immediately to eat.

After a leisurely dinner, he reclaimed his luggage and realized that he had forgotten his room number. He went back to the desk and told the clerk on duty, “My name is Henry Davis, can you please tell me what room I am in?”

“Certainly,” said the clerk. “You’re in the lobby.”😱

 


Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “I told you not to pick up the phone.”  “Then stop calling me.”

ANSWER:Pretty Woman! In the events leading up to this scene, rich businessman Edward Lewis (Richard Gere) needs an escort in Hollywood, California for some social functions and he hires prostitute Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts). He takes a liking to her and negotiates for her full time day and night. The interaction of Vivian’s street-savy mannerisms with Edward’s rarified level of society leads to some pretty funny situations. In one scene, Edward takes her to an opera and an old woman asks her how she liked it. She says, “It was so good, I almost peed my pants!” The old woman is surprised at this response and Edward quickly adds, “She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance.” In this scene, Edward lets her stay in their suite at the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel during the day while he’s gone but instructs her not to answer the phone. To test her he calls their room and she answers. He repeats the instruction and calls again as a test. She answers again and he says line one. She replies with line two. In the 1991 Academy Awards, Julia Roberts was nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role but lost the Oscar to Kathy Bates in “Misery.” In the scene where Edward is shown

playing the piano in the empty hotel lounge, Richard Gere is playing the piano himself.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Muriel said the ________ have landed, whatever that means, Chief. And she said they were attacking her personally.”
“Remember last time, when she called about that peeping Tom — you know who that was, don’t you? It was that Luther Grilk’s horse.”

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….

Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to
form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

MTHEE Take letters 3 & 4
TTLERA Take letters 1 & 2
XETNDE Take letters 1 & 6
AYL Take letter 1

Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?

Answer:  MTHEE Take letters 3 & 4 – THEME, take E,M
TTLERA Take letters 1 & 2 – RATTLE, take R,A
XETNDE Take letters 1 & 6 – EXTEND, take E,D
AYL Take letter 1, LAY, take L

Unscramble the above to get ‘Emerald’.

The Emerald is a bright green gemstone and the word ‘Emerald’ itself comes from a Greek phrase meaning ‘green gemstone’. It is believed to have healing properties and royalty always had their treasure chests filled with emeralds because of this property.

The color green, widely found even in Mother Nature, imparts a feeling of freshness, vividness and clarity to the emerald.


Wednesday’s Quizzer is…

I break, she falls. I break, she falls. Who am I, and who is she?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

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