Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday November 8, 2018.

Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving, But Aren’t
“Whew, that’s one terrific spread!”
“I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.”
“Talk about a huge breast!”
“It’s Cool Whip time!”
“If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!”
“Are you ready for seconds yet?”
“It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?”
“Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!”
“Don’t play with your meat.”
“Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?”
“Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.”
“How long will it take after you stick it in?”
“You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.”
“Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!”
“How many are coming?”
“That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!”
“Just lay back & take it easy…I’ll do the rest.”
“How long do I beat it before it’s ready?”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY PEOPLE!

Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

“The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that people under the age of 18 should be banned from tanning salons. Parents that take their kids to tanning salons should be banned from parenting.” -Jimmy Fallon

“There is a new bike lock that prevents theft by releasing a gas that makes a robber throw up if they cut the lock. So, the good news is: Your bike wasn’t stolen. The bad news: It’s covered in robber vomit.” -Conan O’Brien

“A school in California is testing a new program that forgoes traditional teachers and has students teach and grade each other’s classwork. So good luck to the students at ‘Straight A’s Academy!'” -Seth Meyers

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The Dean of admissions at Bates College in Maine reads through
reams of applications from nervous high school seniors, some
maybe a little more nervous than others. Here are a few…

“If there is a single word to describe me, that word would be

“I was abducted into the National Honor Society.”

“I function well as an individual and a group.”

“Mathematics has hung like a stork around my neck.” 😱


Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

“Muriel said the ________ have landed, whatever that means, Chief. And she said they were attacking her personally.” “Remember last time, when she called about that peeping Tom — you know who that was, don’t you? It was that Luther Grilk’s horse.”

ANSWER: The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming! In the events leading up to this scene, Walt Whittaker (Carl Reiner) and his family are vacationing in a rented house on Gloucester Island off the coast of New England, during the Cold War. A Russian submarine captain, trying to get a glimpse of America through the sub’s periscope, gets too close to land and runs aground. A small party of Russian sailors, headed by Lieutenant Rozanov (Alan Arkin), then head to land to try and commandeer some motorboats, to pull them free. However, the sailors with their broken English and heavy pea coats don’t exactly blend in! In this scene the town telephone operator (Tessie O’Shea) calls Police Chief Link Mattocks (Brian Keith) at home to report line one. He responds skeptically with line two. In the 1967 Academy Awards, “The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming” was nominated in four categories, including Best Picture (but lost to “A Man for All Seasons”). “The Russians Are Coming, the Russians Are Coming” is one of my favorites.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Your son has a very great talent. I don’t think you are aware how great it is. That he is attempting to use that very talent against your will.”
“He is a very willful boy.”

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

I break, she falls. I break, she falls. Who am I, and who is she?
Answer: I am day, and she is night. 

Thursday’s Quizzer is…

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same,
not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two
connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions,
what are the spoonerisms?

1) ales in Madrid & to refuse javelins
2) sluggish crawl & insane jump
3) very warm poodle & selfish hoarder of specks
4) large cetacean & bundle of toupees

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

LINKS:, CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

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