Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Monday November 12, 2018.

A teenager is:

* A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never
forgets a phone number.

* A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy
bars before breakfast.

* A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends
it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.

* Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away
but not his mother calling from the next room.

* A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a
lesson but can’t make a bed or pick up their clothes.

* A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12
hours studying for her driver’s license.

* A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music–loud and very loud.

* An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but
is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

* A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.

* A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

* A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

* A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects
the lawn needs mowing.

* An original thinker who is positive that her mother was
never a teenager.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT MONDAY PEOPLE!

Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

“I saw a new study that says that eating over 1,500 pieces of candy corn could actually kill you. Which shouldn’t be a problem since the current record for eating a piece of candy corn is two.” -Jimmy Fallon

“It was National Stress Awareness day today and due to the election, plenty of people have something to be stressed about. In fact, when asked on a scale of one to 10 how stressed they are right now, most voters punched the pollster in the face.” -James Corden

“A skydiver uploaded a video of himself jumping out of a plane and solving a Rubik’s cube during free fall.  And to prove that he actually solved it, the funeral was open casket.” -Seth Meyers

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A Swiss guy in New York is looking for directions, so he pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
“Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries. The two continue to stare.
“Parlare Italiano?” No response.
“Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”

“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four foreign languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”😱


Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

“Why do you want this so badly?”
“Because they said I couldn’t have it.”

ANSWER: Men of Honor! This movie tells the true story of Carl Brashear (Cuba Gooding Jr.), who endured racial prejudice and unfairness to become the U.S. Navy’s first African-American diver and later the first amputee Master Diver. Although U.S. President Harry S. Truman officially ordered an end to racial segregation in all branches of the U.S. armed forces in 1948, his order permitted local commanders to implement desegregation at such time they deemed appropriate. Unfortunately for Carl, commander Mr. Pappy

at the Bayonne, N.J. divers’ training school (Hal Holbrook) is an avid racist. The famous quote from this movie is by Robert De Niro’s  character (he plays diving instructor Chief Leslie “Billy” Sunday). When he is addressing a new class of recruits he points out there
was an old-time preacher named Billy Sunday and then says, “The only difference between me and that old preacher is that he worked  for God, and I AM God!” In this scene, medical student Jo (Aunjanue Ellis) is asked by Carl to tutor him so he can pass the written  tests in his training and she asks the question in line one. He replies with line two. The real Carl Brashear was on the movie set to give advice during filming.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“We’re the first team.”
“Yeah, and we’re not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe.”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

Can you decipher this:


Three Blind Mice; [they have no I’s].

Monday’s Quizzer is…

Can you find the word within a word for each set of clues listed below? The dashes beside each clue tell you
how many letters are in the word you are to find. (ex. A young lion…in skin diving gear = ScubA)

1. A snooze…in a hiking bag: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
2. An armed conflict…in one who lacks courage: __ __ __ __ __ __
3. A line of seats…in a king’s headdress:__ __ __ __ __
4. A brooch…in a statement of belief:__ __ __ __ __ __ __
5. A math term…in a fireman’s climbing apparatus:__ __ __ __ __ __

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

LINKS:, CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store


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