Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday November 15, 2018. 

Well somewhere in this great big old world of ours, it’s National Pondering day once again! Here are the top pondering thoughts of the day! EVER WONDER?
1. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
2. Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
3. Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
4. Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
5. Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
6. Why is it that to stop Windows 10, you have to click on “Start”?
7. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, & dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
9. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
10. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
11. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
12. Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
13. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
14. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
15. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
16. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
17. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
18. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY PEOPLE!

Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or Yahoo to diagnose their patients’ symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick, my doctor was like, ‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have ‘Server Not Responding.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashes than drunk people. Then again, it’s easier to see what is coming when you’re driving at 11 miles an hour.” -Conan O’Brien

“The U.S. Postal Service announced yesterday they are expecting this year’s holiday season to be their busiest ever and also their slowest ever. That’s probably the only business in America that complains about being busy.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Like many cello players, I sometimes get an odd buzz on one
of the strings. A rubber cylinder helps damp the troublesome
tone. One of these was mixed in with my pocket change, which
I had pulled out while at the coffee machine.
“What’s that?” the woman standing next to me asked.
“If you put it on your G-string,” I said without thinking,
“you won’t hear any wolf notes.”
😱😏😎

 


Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “You’re going into the men’s room.” “Huh? Oh, so I am. I do need new glasses.”

ANSWER: Mrs. Doubtfire! When Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) loses his job, his irresponsibility makes life impossible for his wife Miranda(Sally Field) and she reluctantly decides to divorce him. A judge decrees that in order to help Daniel to get his

life in order, he can see his children just one day a week. He can’t bear this, and when Miranda advertises for a housekeeper to help her, Daniel decides to don a disguise and apply for the job as a British nanny named Mrs. Doubtfire. In this scene, Mrs. Doubtfire joins the family at a restaurant and has to use the restroom. Miranda observes Mrs. Doubtfire going into the men’s room and says line one. Daniel as Mrs. Doubtfire laughs
it off with line two. In the 1994 Academy Awards “Mrs. Doubtfire” won the Oscar for Best Makeup. It took Robin Williams about 4 1/2 hours each day to be made up as Mrs. Doubtfire.

  

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Man! That’s tasty!”
“That’s 100% pinot noir. Single vineyard. They don’t even make it any more.”

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

Based on the clue in parentheses, find a four-letter word that can be inserted backwards into the blank to complete a longer word.

Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)

1. s____ing (profound, extreme, or intense)
2. si____ll (inspired by a feeling of reverence)
3. re____ed (draw with force)
4. s____hot (to extend over)

 
Answer: 1. speeding (DEEP – s_PEED_ing)
2. sidewall (AWED – si_DEWA_ll)
3. regarded (DRAG – re_GARD_ed)
4. snapshot (SPAN – s_NAPS_hot)

Thursday’s Quizzer is…

All these number represent one thing. What is it?

1.609344
1,760
5,280
63,360
160,934.4
1,609,344

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

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