Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Wednesday November 28, 2018. 


1. “Good crowd…good crowd.  I’m telling you I could use a
good  crowd. I’m ok now  but last week I was in rough
shape… Why?  I looked up my family tree and found out I
was the sap.”

2. “I come from a stupid family.  During the Civil War my great
Uncle fought for the west!”

3. “My father was stupid.  He worked in a bank and they caught
him stealing pens.”

4. “When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting room
and said to my father…I’m very sorry.  We did everything
we could…but he pulled through.”

5. “My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”

6. “My mother never breast fed me.  She told me that she only
liked me as a friend.”

7. “My father carries around the picture of the kid who came
with his wallet.”

8. “When I  played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.”

9. “I could tell that my parents hated me.  My bath toys were a
toaster and a radio.”

10. “Some dog I got too.  We call him Egypt because he leaves a
pyramid in every room.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

When I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad I’m better.
– Mae West😱
I have learned that if you upset your wife, she nags you.
If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment.
Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?😁😎

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.  We
can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
-Rita Rudner

A good discussion is like a miniskirt:
Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.

“In Russia we only had two TV channels.
Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two
consisted of a KGB officer telling you:
Turn back at once to Channel One.”
Yakov Smirnoff

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when
others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far
enough you would go over the edge. We also know that Columbus
reached what we now know as America. While there are still a
few who believe Columbus returned to Spain and told Queen
Isabella that he discovered a new world, most believe he had
told her he had reached India. Recently documents written by
Queen Isabella’s official scribe were uncovered revealing what
Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage.
His first words were, “I’ll bet I’m the first man who ever
got nineteen hundred miles on a galleon.”😱



Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

“I just wanted to tell you I’m your number one fan.”
“That’s… very sweet of you.”


In the events leading up to this scene, romance novel writer Paul Sheldon (James Caan) is rescued from an automobile crash by Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates), a somewhat unstable nurse who calls herself the “number one fan” of Paul’s heroine Misery Chastaine. In Annie’s secluded house, Paul finds himself drugged, crippled and at her mercy. He finally manages to kill her and escape. In this scene, Paul is having lunch at a restaurant with his agent Marcia Sindell (Lauren Bacall) after his escape and the waitress approaches their table with the dessert trolley. When she pulls out a large knife ready to slice whatever dessert they select, Paul momentarily flashes back to picture Annie holding a knife. When the waitress says line one, Paul snaps back to reality and replies meekly with line two (the last line in the movie). In the 1991 Academy Awards Kathy Bates won the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role. This movie was adapted from Stephen King’s novel “Misery.” In the book, to prevent Paul from escaping Annie cuts off his foot, but in the movie that was changed to her breaking both his ankles with a sledgehammer. Ouch!

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Of course when they bring the maple syrup after the pancakes, it’ll definitely be too late.”  “How is that gonna be too late? We haven’t ordered the pancakes yet.”

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….

What  does this mean?


Answer:  Space Invaders 😁

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…

Which is the odd couple? Find how these pairs were formed, then decide which does not belong with the other four.

1. HIS and MIST

2. LUSH and PULP


4. WIDE and NINE

5. HIKE and SEED

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

LINKS:, CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store


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