Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, and Quizzlers

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WELCOME to Thursday November 29, 2018. 

Earl and Bubba’s Komputer Terms

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the woodstove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time
PROMPT: Whut the mail ain’t in the winter time
WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it’s cold outside
SCREEN: Whut to shut when it’s black fly season
BYTE: Whut dem flys do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: Whut’s in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whacha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife
LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn ruf
PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine
ENTER: Northerner talk fer, C’Mon in y’all
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain’t ‘member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks

MOUSE PAD: That’s hippie talk fer the rat hole.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“Turns out that it’s not the turkey that makes you sleepy – it’s being drunk at 4:00 p.m. on Thursday.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“The good people at Butterball have been running a toll-free hotline for turkey-cooking tips since 1981. Every year the turkey talk line receives more than 100,000 phone calls, but sadly, they have not once been able to save a turkey’s life.” -Stephen Colbert

“The TSA just released a list of Thanksgiving leftovers that you can carry on and others you have to check, saying you can bring turkey on the plane but not gravy. Which will explain things when you’re at airport security and you see a bunch of people chugging their gravy next to a trash can.” -Jimmy Fallon

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory
prayer. “Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a
rapturous look on his upturned face, “without you we are
but dust…”

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient
daughter (who was listening carefully for a change!) leaned
over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl
voice, “Mom, what is butt dust?” 😱

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Of course when they bring the maple syrup after the pancakes, it’ll definitely be too late.” “How is that gonna be too late? We haven’t ordered the pancakes yet.”

ANSWER:  Rain Man
After the death of his father, materialistic car salesman Charlie Babbitt (Tom Cruise) learns he has an autistic brother Raymond (Dustin Hoffman), who is in an institutional home in Cincinnati. When he learns his father left a $3 million trust fund to Raymond, he attempts to get to know Ray better. Charlie picks up Ray and starts driving them to Charlie’s home in Los Angeles (Ray is afraid of flying). In this scene, the two them are eating breakfast in a restaurant. Ray says the first line and Charlie recalls that Doctor Bruner (at Ray’s institution) had explained that people afflicted with autistism are overly dependent on routine. He replies with line two. In the 1989 Academy Awards, “Rain Man” won four Oscars, including Best Picture and Dustin Hoffman for Best Actor in a Leading Role. In the scene at the pancake diner, the boy at the counter is Dustin Hoffman’s son Jake.
 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Can we open up the window, professor? It’s hot in here.”
“Your comfort comes second to my ability to hear my own voice.”

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

Which is the odd couple? Find how these pairs were formed, then decide which does not belong with the other four.

1. HIS and MIST
2. LUSH and PULP
3. LOFT and SOUND
4. WIDE and NINE

5. HIKE and SEED

Answer: The original couples, before the exchange of a letter, were:
1. HIT and MISS
2. PUSH and PULL
3. LOST and FOUND
4. WINE and DINE
5. HIDE and SEEK

The odd couple is ‘WINE and DINE’. All the others are antonym pairs.

Thursday’s Quizzer is…

Can you decipher this phrase?

T _ _ E

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

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