Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers, and Teases

15-funny-memes-that-will-make-you-lol
WELCOME to Wednesday December 5, 2018.

Here’s the story, yesterday I was out driving and this guy cut me off, when I pulled up next to him, he was in road rage mode, as he cursed at me I leaned out the window and yelled back out to him…”what the french toast is wrong with you hamburger?

Have you had your Capt Crunch lately, do you need some ketchup? Of course I was laughing as I said it and you can’t possibly imagine the puzzled look on his face as he drove off! What was I thinking? Who knows hamburgers..

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT WEDNESDAY PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“A new scientific study shows rats are capable of laughter if they are tickled the correct way. The rats were like, ‘Why aren’t you trying to cure cancer?'” -Seth Meyers

“In the U.K., they’re launching an official Quidditch League, with eight teams competing across the country. It’s the first sports league where everyone has an equal chance of being a loser.” -Conan O’Brien

“McDonald’s is unveiling something called a Nutella burger at its locations in Italy. This goes against the traditional way of eating Nutella, which is with two fingers in the dark while crying at 3 a.m.” -James Corden

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far enough you would go over the edge. We also know that Columbus reached what we now know as America. While there are still a few who believe Columbus returned to Spain and told Queen Isabella that he discovered a new world, most believe he had told her he had reached India. Recently documents written by Queen Isabella’s official scribe were uncovered revealing what Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage. His first words were, “I’ll bet I’m the first man who ever got nineteen hundred miles on a galleon.”

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps.”  “He was drafted.”

Answer: MASH!

This hit comedy tells the story of the 4077 M.A.S.H. unit (Mobile Army Surgical Hospital) during the Korean War and chief surgeons Capt. Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce (Donald Sutherland) and Capt. John Francis “Trapper John” McIntyre (Elliott Gould). Hawkeye and Trapper John are crack surgeons but lousy soldiers. In this scene, by-the-book head nurse Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” O’Houlihan (Sally Kellerman) gets some opinions on nurses’ physical attributes, drinking and bedtime arrangements. After Hawkeye leaves, she asks line one and the resident religious officer Father Mulcahy (Rene Auberjonois) replies with line two. In the 1971 Academy Awards, formerly blacklisted writer Ring Lardner, Jr. won the Oscar for Best Screenplay. This signified a significant shift in Hollywood politics since Lardner, Jr. had refused to cooperate with the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC) during the Senator Joseph McCarthy era and was fined and jailed. He was not the first blacklisted writer to subsequently write a screenplay under his own name, but he was the first (after the blacklist) to be voted an Oscar winner by his peers. “MASH” was also nominated for four other Academy Awards, including Best Picture (but lost to “Patton”). This movie inspired the hugely successful American TV series M*A*S*H, which ran for 11 seasons. Its final episode was watched by a record 125 million viewers, which was the largest audience ever to watch a single television show.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I don’t think having dinner with someone is a crime.”  “Not yet.”

Tuesday’s Quizzer is……. A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet.  He turns to the rich man and says to him, “I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.” The rich man laughs.

The poor man says, “I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady’s name of your choice in it.”

The rich man laughs again and says, “OK, how about my daughter’s name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?”  The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?

Answer:Happy Birthday” This song can be sung with anyone’s name in it.

 

Wednesday’s Quizzer is……

Find out what the animals are! (for example, “To run away or escape” could be a “flea”)

1. hair-control foam

2. very exposed

3. tellin’ falsities

4. a lamenting cry

5. a dull person

6. a precious or loved one

7. first you get a parking ticket, then you get this

8. these make up a chain

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Posted In

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s