Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers, and Teases

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WELCOME to Thursday December 6, 2018.

Thoughts for today….. 

1. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

2. There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time
to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking
how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

3. When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the
neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag
himself.

4. If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be
vague.

5. Don’t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

6. A penny saved is a government oversight.

7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the
right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid
the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and your fat are really good
friends.

9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house
is to buy a replacement.

10. He who hesitates is probably right.

11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t
met everybody.

12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone
in mind to blame.

13. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can
tell when he’s really in trouble.

14. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The”
and “IRS” together it spells “THEIRS”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

 “I’ve always found paranoia to be a perfectly defensible
position.” – Pat Conroy

“Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth,
but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that
of sculpture.” – Bertrand Russell

“We have a new recipe for an exotic gourmet dinner. First,
take two credit cards…” –Bessie and Beulah

“I’m really upset with the restaurant parking attendants.
They won’t validate my feelings.” –Scott Wood

“Our four-year-old Candice inquired, ‘When our goldfish die
could we take them out and eat them?'” –Bobbi Bourbonnais

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

According to my mother, she and Dad decided to start a family
soon after he became an officer in the Air Force. When months
went by without success, they consulted the base physician,
who chose to examine Mom right then and there.

“Please disrobe,” he told her.

“With him in the room??” she yelled, pointing to my father.

Turning to Dad, the doctor said, “Captain, I think I found
the problem.”  😱

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “I don’t think having dinner with someone is a crime.”    “Not yet.”

Answer: Fatal Attraction
In this scene lawyer Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) is having dinner with copy editor Alex Forrest (Glenn Close) when Dan’s wife is out of town. Dan has just met Alex at a party and now has run into her again. He says line one and she replies with line two. Their small talk leads to a brief affair, after which Alex becomes obsessed with Dan. When Dan is annoyed that Alex has shown up at his apartment, she says, “Well, what am I supposed to do? You won’t answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I’m not gonna be ignored, Dan!” Then, in a chilling turn of events, she begins to stalk Dan and his family.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “That’s a smart mouse, Del. He’s like a circus mouse.”
“Correct. That’s just what he is, too. He’s a circus mouse. When I get outta here, he’s gonna make me rich.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

Find out what the animals are! (for example, “To run away or escape” could be a “flea”)

1. hair-control foam

2. very exposed

3. tellin’ falsities

4. a lamenting cry

5. a dull person

6. a precious or loved one

7. first you get a parking ticket, then you get this

8. these make up a chain

Answer:  1.Moose (Mousse)
2. Bear (Bare)
3. Lion (Lyin’)
4. Whale (Wail)
5. Boar (Bore)
6. Deer (Dear)
7. Toad (Towed)
8. Lynx (Links)

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is……

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.
1. Outer layer -> Oxidized metal
2. Defraud; violate rules -> Thermal energy in transit
3. Sensation of cold -> Local land elevation
4. Go upward -> Jointed appendage; branch
5. Strong metal rope -> Having necessary skill
6. Confined; restrained -> Old; grew older
7. Stop; discontinue -> Freedom from hardship
8. Lacking dirt -> Lacking fat

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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