Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers, and Teases


WELCOME to Friday December 7, 2018.
Remember Life’s “Laws”

1. The most common elements in the universe are hydrogen
and stupidity.

2. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

3. Money can’t buy happiness but it sure makes misery
easier to live with.

4. Deja moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull

5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill.
Check three friends. If they’re okay, you’re it.

6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad

7. It has recently been discovered that research causes
cancer in rats.

8. The trouble with doing something right the first time
is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

9. It may be your sole purpose in life is simply to serve
as a warning to others.

10. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains
because the average man can see better than he can
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—
these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter can blow it to rags
and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle
A good laugh is a mighty good thing, a rather too scarce a good thing. — Herman Melville
A good laugh is sunshine in the house. — William Thackeray
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. — Phyllis Diller
A smile starts on the lips, a grin spreads to the eyes, a chuckle comes from the belly; but a good laugh bursts forth from the
soul, overflows, and bubbles all around. — Carolyn Birmingham
A well-balanced person is one who finds both sides of an issue laughable. — Herbert Procknow
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. — Mark Twain
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. — Lord Byron
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom
I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. — W. H. Auden
An optimist laughs to forget; a pessimist forgets to laugh. — Tom Nansbury

And keep a sense of humor. It doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes. If you can’t think of anything else, when you’re my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you’ll get a laugh. — Art Linkletter

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
 Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

– Yelling at me for barking. I am a dog

– Taking me for a walk then not letting me check stuff
out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

– Any trick balancing food on my nose.

– Yelling at me for rubbing myself on your carpet. Why did
you buy carpet?

– Getting upset when I sniff your guests. Sorry but I
haven’t quite mastered the handshake thing yet.

– Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know
why we chew your stuff up when you are not home.

– Taking me to the vet for “The big snip”, then acting
surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

– Doggie Sweaters.

– The sleight of hand, fake fetch throws. You fooled a
dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“That’s a smart mouse, Del. He’s like a circus mouse.”
“Correct. That’s just what he is, too. He’s a circus mouse. When I get outta here, he’s gonna make me rich.”
Answer: The Green Mile
In this scene, death row prisoner John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan) watches a jailhouse mouse go to and roll back a spool to fellow death row prisoner Eduard “Del” Delacroix (Michael Jeter) in his jail cell and says line one. Delacroix replies with line two. In a later scene, mean-spirited guard Percy Wetmore (Doug Hutchison) deliberately stomps on and kills this mouse, but Coffey’s magical powers bring the mouse back to life. “The Green Mile” tells the story of Depression-era death row prison guard Paul Edgecomb (Tom Hanks) and huge prisoner Coffey, who is accused of murdering two little girls (he is later seen by the guards to be innocent).
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?”
“All right, let’s get back to the pier.”
Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.
1. Outer layer -> Oxidized metal
2. Defraud; violate rules -> Thermal energy in transit
3. Sensation of cold -> Local land elevation
4. Go upward -> Jointed appendage; branch
5. Strong metal rope -> Having necessary skill
6. Confined; restrained -> Old; grew older
7. Stop; discontinue -> Freedom from hardship
8. Lacking dirt -> Lacking fat

1. Crust -> Rust
2. Cheat -> Heat
3. Chill -> Hill
4. Climb -> Limb
5. Cable -> Able
6. Caged -> Aged
7. Cease -> Ease
8. Clean -> Lean
Thursday’s Quizzer is……
Question Mark is the host of a new game show called “Radical Rush”. It is a game of 4 rounds. A logic round, a rebus round, a mathematics round and a final face-off. One player is eliminated after each round, with the last player left being the winner. Each player is color-coded. Now you must work out the full names of the contestants, the age of the contestants, their color-code and which round they were eliminated in (and who won).

First names: David, Joanne, Richard, Xavier, Yvette
Last names: Bridge, Hall, Rade, Richburgh, Sands
Ages: 22, 24, 26, 29, 33
Color-codes: Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange
Round Eliminated: Logic, Rebus, Maths, Face-off, Winner

Round 1 (LOGIC): This round was straight forward for Xavier, Miss Bridge and the player aged 29. The green player and the player aged 26 did not find this round as easy. It was a close call but in the end, the yellow player was eliminated.

Round 2 (REBUS): This round was slightly harder, however it was a walk in the park for Richard, who came in first place for this round. Yvette, Mr Rade and the red player did not find this round as easy. However, after she realised what she was doing wrong, The 22-year-old quickly took second place. Now it was just up to Xavier and the 29-year-old, however it was all over for Mr Rade.

Round 3 (MATHEMATICS): Once again, the difficulty level increases as the remaining three players try their math skills. No-one seemed to do particularly well here. The first place finisher was Miss Bridge. The battle for a spot in the Face-off was between Xavier and the green player. He put everything he knew into this round, however it wasn’t enough to save Mr Hall, our unfortunate 33-year-old.

Face-off: Two players remain with the same goal: to become the very first winner of “Radical Rush”. The 22-year-old and Mr Richburgh must race each-other in a maze. Whoever reaches the end first, wins the game. It was a race too close to call, however the red player was fast enough to steal victory from the very unfortunate orange player.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.


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