Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers, and Teases

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WELCOME to Tuesday December 11, 2018.
BUSINESS QUOTES:

Accomplishing the impossible only means the boss will add it
to your regular duties.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be
lazy.
Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings
are held to discuss it.
Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually
get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. (Robert Frost)
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and
then quietly strangled. (Sir Barnett Cocks)
Doing nothing is tiring because you can’t stop to rest.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. (Dr. Lawrence
J. Peter – The Peter Principle)
The first thing a new employee should do on the job is learn
to recognize his boss’ voice on the phone. (Martin Buxbaum)
Go the extra mile–It makes your boss look like an
incompetent slacker.
The Golden Rule of Bureaucracy: Whoever has the gold makes
the rules.
Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away!
I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by
leaving early.
I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a
salary.
If we knew what we were doing it wouldn’t be called research.
If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do
it?
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who
hate you away from those who are still undecided. (Casey Stengal)
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due
to budget cuts.
A memorandum is not written to inform the reader but to
protect the writer. (Dean Acheson)
Of course I don’t look busy…I did it right the first time!
Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along
without it.
Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for

years.


That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY PEOPLE!
Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…

 One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you’re carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways — unless of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on.

The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality.

“I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.” -Beryl Pfizer, American journalist  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A woman in my office who had recently divorced after years
of marriage, signed up for a refresher CPR course.

“Is it hard to learn?” someone asked.

“Not at all,” my co-worker replied. “Basically you’re asked
to breathe life into a dummy. I don’t expect to have any
problem. I did that for 12 years.” 😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“I put a curse on that plane.”
“I don’t believe in curses.”
Answer:  Moonstruck!
In this scene, widowed Italian-American bookkeeper Loretta Castorini (Cher) is at the airport to say goodbye to her fiancé Johnny Cammareri (Danny Aiello), who is going to Palermo, Sicily to see his dying mother. While watching his plane taxi to takeoff, she starts talking to an old woman who is also watching the plane. The old woman is bitter at her sister, who is on the plane, for stealing a boyfriend from her fifty years earlier (“Today she told me that she didn’t even love him. She took him to be strong on me.”) She has cursed the plane so “that the green Atlantic water should swallow her up!” The old woman says line one and Loretta replies with line two. This movie tells the wonderfully human story of Loretta, who is torn between her fiancé and his brother.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Laura! … Laura! … Laura!”
“That was the night that I died, and someone else was saved. Someone who was afraid of water, but learned to swim. Someone who knew there would be one moment when he wouldn’t be watching. Someone who knew that the darkness from the broken lights would show the way.”
Monday’s Quizzer is…….
Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms.
For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Pain – Nil

2. War – Zoned
3. Routing – Tip
4. Shot – Teaming

5. Right – Blight

 

Answer: 1. Pin – Nail

2. Ward – Zone
3. Outing – Trip
4. Hot – Steaming

5. Bright – Light

Tuesday’s Quizzer is……
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Local region of land -> Determine the number
2. Small -> A metallic element
3. Sarcasm -> A metallic element
4. Red gem -> Cause friction
5. Slick -> Foot covering
6. Prepared -> Understand something written
7. Analyse; learn -> House frame upright

8. Paralysis of a body part with uncontrolled tremors -> Friends

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

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