Signs you’re getting older…
* You got cable for the Weather Channel
* If a young girl looks at you, you check to make sure you remembered to put on your pants and that your pants are zipped up.
* When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out…and you can’t get it back around.
* Most women you know under 40 put you in the “Friend of my Father” class.
* Restaurants stop asking to see your senior discount card.
* You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
* You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
* You talk about “good grass” and you’re referring to someone’s lawn.
* Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
The comic and the tragic lie inseparably close, like light and shadow. — Socrates
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. — Kahlil Gibran
The greatest prayer you could ever pray is to laugh every day. — Ramtha
The happiness and unhappiness of the rational, social animal depends not on what he feels but on what he does; just as his virtue and vice consist not in feeling but in doing. — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. — Mark Twain
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. — E E Cummings
The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man’s pocket, because it cut down the doctor’s bills like everything. — “Tom Sawyer” by Mark Twain
The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed. — Bennett Cerf
The person who has a sense of humor is not just more relaxed in the face of a potentially stressful situation, but is more flexible in his approach. — John Morreall
The size of a man’s understanding can be justly measured by his mirth. — Samuel Johnson
It was a terrible night, blowing cold and snow in a most
frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local
baker was just about to close up shop when a little, old
man slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella,
blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a
thick coat. But even so he still looked wet, freezing, and
bedraggled.
As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, “May I have
two poppy seed bagels to go, please?”
The baker said in astonishment, “Two bagels? Nothing more?”
“That’s right,” answered the little man. “One for me and
one for Sherry.”
“And who is Sherry, your wife?” asked the baker.
“What did you think,” snapped the little man, “that my mother
would send me out on a night like this?”😳
“Auda will not come to Aqaba. Not for money… for Feisal… nor to drive away the Turks. He will come… because it is his pleasure.”
“Thy mother mated with a scorpion.”
Answer: Lawrence of Arabia!
“Do you remember me?”
“I never did her any harm. It was my right.”
1. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a…
B _ _ _ _ _ N
2. Body modification.
T _ _ _ _ O
3. A Group of people.
C _ _ _ _ _ _ _ E
4. Acuteness or acumen.
K _ _ _ _ _ _ S
—Experts Only!—
5. Kangaroos, dingos, and kookaburras!
C _ _ _ E
Clue: It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a…
The first balloon was invented in 1709. Now, balloons are used as an airship design, in celebrations, and even in medicine! Military use of the balloon first occurred in the American Civil War in map-making and in signaling armies. Now, hot air balloons can be seen and ridden during parades and festivals.
2. Tattoo
Clue: Body Modification
Tattooing is a form of body modification. Many cultures all over the world practice tattooing. The first tattoos were found on ancient Egyptian mummies and on “Otzi the Iceman,” who was found frozen in the Italian Alps!
3. Committee
Clue: A group of people.
Committees are often formed when a group of people need to make a decision. They can range in size from just a few people to a very large group of people. The most well-known examples of committees are in government where committees are delegated to decide on legislation.
4. Keenness
Clue: Acuteness or acumen.
Keenness is a synonym for acuteness, acumen, brilliance, cleverness, and other similar words. The word ‘keen’ comes from an Old English word that means brave.
5. Cooee
Clue: Kangaroos, dingos, and kookaburras!
Cooee is a chant used in the Australian Outback. It is usually shouted to attract attention, indicate one’s location, or find missing people. Sherlock Holmes used his knowledge of this word to solve “The Boscombe Valley Mystery.” (Written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).
Example: married, moisture
Answer: wed, dew
1. light source, rodents
2. dwell, wicked
3. retain, sneaking look
4. weapons, tight fit
5. portion, catching device
6. prize, furniture compartment
7. drinking aid, skin blemishes
8. stopper, big swallow
9. implement, stolen goods
10. precinct, illustrate
The World According to the Eucman! 