Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday January 22, 2019.

40 years – what a long strange trip!

1979: Long hair
2019: Longing for hair

1979: The perfect high
2019: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1979: KEG
2019: EKG

1979: Acid rock
2019: Acid reflex

1979: Moving to California because it’s cool
2019: Moving to California because it’s warm

1979: Growing pot
2019: Growing pot belly

1979: Smoking Pot
2019: Eating weed brownies and appetizers at a reception in Denver

1979: Seeds and stems
2019: Roughage

1979: Popping pills, smoking joints
2019: Popping joints with a full symphony of sounds when you go up the stairs.

1979: Killer weed
2019: Weed killer

1979: The Grateful Dead
2019: The Grateful Dead music in elevators and grocery stores.

1979: Going to a new, hip joint
2019: Receiving a new hip joint

1979: Rolling Stones
2019: Kidney Stones

1979: Being called into the principal’s office
2019: Face timing the principal’s office

1979: Disco
2019: Sam’s & Costco

1979: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2019: Children with tattoos & shaved heads.

1979: Taking acid
2019: Taking antacid

1979: Passing the drivers’ test
2019: Passing the vision test with glasses

1979: Earth, Wind & Fire concerts..
2019: Earth the final ride,

1979: Whatever
2019: DependsThat’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“I read about a man in Virginia who paid the DMV his $3,000 fine in pennies. It took the workers 12 hours to count them all. And that line still moved faster than the one you were in waiting in at the DMV.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is officially shutting down. Now, the circus won’t officially close until May, so if you don’t get a chance to see it, you had 150 years. No one feels bad for you.” -Stephen Colbert

“There’s a new app out there that describes itself as Tinder for adopting babies. So one day, siblings will be taunting each other with, ‘Ha ha, mom right-swiped you. You shouldn’t be here.'” -Conan O’Brien

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

I was expecting my friend Chu to arrive at the
airport and want to be picked up at the same time that I
had a pressing commitment elsewhere. I simply couldn’t be
in two places at once, but I couldn’t get out of my pre-
vious commitment. What to do? Then I remembered that my
friend Stuart had offered several times to help me if he
ever could in any way. Maybe he could solve my problem.
So I called him up, explained my dilemma to him, and asked
him, “Please, Stu, meet Chu.” 😳

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Do you remember me?” “I never did her any harm. It was my right.”

Answer: Braveheart!

In this scene 13th-century English Lord Bottoms (Rupert Vansittart) is confronted by Scottish commoner Morrison (Tommy Flanagan), after Lord Bottoms is taken prisoner by the forces of William Wallace, a.k.a. Braveheart (Mel Gibson). Morrison asks line one (referring to the rape of his new bride on his wedding night by Lord Bottoms) and a scared Lord Bottoms replies with line two. When Lord Bottoms says it was his “right,” he was referring to the detestable right of prima noctae (letting the local administrators of England’s tyrannical King Edward I (sometimes called Longshanks, played by Patrick McGoohan) have first rights on a new bride’s wedding night. The king had proposed this law after saying, “The trouble with Scotland is that it’s full of Scots.” “Braveheart” tells the mostly true story of William Wallace, a commoner (although one source says he was a Scottish lord) who unites 13th-century Scotland in its battle to overthrow English rule (although documentation about the details is sketchy, at best).

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Oh, you drink coffee, don’t you?””I consume a couple of cups a day.”

Friday’s Quizzler is……

Each pair of hints below relates to two words. One of the words is the other one spelled backward. What are the ten word pairs?

Example: married, moisture

Answer: wed, dew

1. light source, rodents

2. dwell, wicked

3. retain, sneaking look

4. weapons, tight fit

5. portion, catching device

6. prize, furniture compartment

7. drinking aid, skin blemishes

8. stopper, big swallow

9. implement, stolen goods

10. precinct, illustrate

Answer: 1. star, rats
2. live, evil
3. keep, peek
4. guns, snug
5. part, trap
6. reward, drawer
7. straw, warts
8. plug, gulp
9. tool, loot
10. ward, draw

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

Last week, the local Primary school was visited by the Government School Inspector who was there to check that teachers were performing well in their respective classes. He was very impressed with one particular teacher. The Inspector noticed that each time the class teacher asked a question, every child in the class put up their hands enthusiastically to answer it.

More surprisingly, whilst the teacher chose a different child to answer the questions each time, the answers were always correct. Why would this be?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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