Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday January 24, 2019.

Today we take a look at suspect signs and botched billboards that dot the American landscape.

Here are some other signs that need to be re-signed:

*     At restaurant-gas stations throughout the nation: “Eat here and get gas.”

*     At a Sante Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”

*     In a New Hampshire jewelry store: “Ears pierced while you wait.”

*     In an New York restaurant” Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the  manager.”

*     On a delicatessen wall:”Our best is none too good.”

*     On the wall of a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.”  “– Sisters of Mercy”

*     On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaning store: “Thirty-eight years on the same spot.”

*     In a Los Angeles dance hall: “Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.”

*     On a movie theater: “Children’s matinee today.  Adults not admitted unless with child.”

*     In a Florida maternity ward:  “No children allowed!”

*     In a New York drugstore: “We dispense with accuracy.”

*     On a New York loft building: “Wanted:  Woman to sew buttons on the fourth floor.”

*     In a New Hampshire medical building: “Martin Diabetes Professional Ass.”

*     In the office of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”

*     In a New York medical building: “Mental health prevention center.”

*     On a New York convalescent home: “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A WONDERFUL THURSDAY PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES…

They say ‘You Snooze, You Lose’, which means I start every morning failing multiple times in 9-minute intervals.

English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough
thorough thought, though.
Why is sleeping in considered being lazy, but going to bed early isn’t?

Once you realize that you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake, the second part of your life begins.

 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

Wisdom from Grandpa…..

* Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg,
depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

* Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy
earnin’ his salt, that he forgets his sugar.

* Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not
for good.

* When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

* On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the
past – but never the present.

* The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when
the interest is kept up.

* Many girls like to marry a military man – he can cook,
sew, and make beds, and is in good health, and he’s already
used to taking orders.

* Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age, and start bragging about it.

* The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.

* When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
your youth, remember about Algebra.

* I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to
the top.

* Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is
comfortable.

* Old age is when former classmates are so gray and
wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.

* If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have
anything to laugh at when you are old.
 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“You don’t wanna wait for your share?”
“Naw, I’d just blow it.”
Answer: The Sting
In this scene (the final scene in the movie) con men Johnny Hooker (Robert Redford) and Henry Gondorff (Paul Newman) and a crew assembled by them have successfully pulled off an elaborate con against gangster Doyle Lonnegan (Robert Shaw). Gondorff asks Hooker with line one about waiting for his share of the proceeds, but Hooker knows himself and replies with line two. Besides, he is immensely satisfied at getting revenge for the death of his former partner Luther Coleman (Robert Earl Jones), whose killing was ordered by Lonnegan. There is a wonderful surprise ending, which I won’t reveal in case you haven’t seen it!

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Seven dwarfs?”
“The seven CEOs of Big Tobacco. They got up in front of Congress that time. It was on television…”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……

A palindrome is a word or phrase that reads the same, if it’s turned back-to-front. The names Bob, Eve,
and Otto are all palindromes. So is the name of the pop group Abba. Try to identify palindromic
words from the following clues. Good luck!

Example: Part of the body
Answer: Eye

1. Midday
2. A young dog
3. Flat
4. Word for addressing a lady
5. An Eskimo canoe
6. A system for detecting aircraft, ships, etc.
7. An action
8. Pieces of music for one person
9. Grass that grows on the seashore
10. In music, half a semibreve
11. Doctrine
12. Restorer

Answer: 1. Midday – Noon
2. A young dog – Pup
3. Flat – Level
4. Word for addressing a lady – Madam
5. An Eskimo canoe – Kayak
6. A system for detecting aircraft, ships, etc. – Radar
7. An action – Deed
8. Pieces of music for one person – Solos
9. Grass that grows on the seashore – Marram
10. In music, half a semibreve – Minim
11. Doctrine – Tenet
12. Restorer – Reviver

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

BARD
BARN
BARE
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#,

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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