Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday January 25, 2019.

IF HISTORICAL PEOPLE WERE LOOKING FOR A JOB TODAY…

* Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office
politics and back stabbing. I’d like to get away from all that.

* Jesse James: I can list among my experience and skills:
leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization,
intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of
security measures at numerous banks.

* Marie Antoinette: My management style has been
criticized, but I’d like to think of myself as a people person.

* Joseph Guillotin: I can give your company a head start
on the competition.

*Hamlet: My position was eliminated in a hostile take-over.

* Pandora: I can bring a lot to your company. I like
discovering new things.

* Genghis Khan: My primary talent is downsizing. On my
last job I downsized my staff, my organization, and the
populations of several countries.

* Macbeth: Would I go after my boss’s job? Do I look
like the kind of guy who would knock off his boss for
a promotion?

* Lady Godiva: What do you mean, this isn’t “business casual”?

*Elvis: My last boss and I…say, are you going to eat
those fries?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES…

They say ‘You Snooze, You Lose’, which means I start every morning failing multiple times in 9-minute intervals.

English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Why is sleeping in considered being lazy, but going to bed early isn’t?
Once you realize that you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake, the second part of your life begins.😁

 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her
dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin
fluttering, her hands float up above the table, and she
begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates saying,
“Granddaughter? Are you there?”

The woman, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds,
“Grandmother? Is that you?”

“Yes granddaughter, it’s me.”

“It’s really, really you, grandmother?”, the woman repeats.

“Yes, it’s really me, granddaughter.”

The woman looks puzzled, “You’re sure it’s you, grandmother?”

“Yes, granddaughter, I’m sure it’s me.”

The woman pauses a moment, “Grandmother, I have just one
question for you.”

“Anything, my child.”

“Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?” 😳 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“Seven dwarfs?” “The seven CEOs of Big Tobacco. They got up in front of Congress that time. It was on television…”

Answer:  The Insider!
In this scene, TV show “60 Minutes” producer Lowell Bergman (Al Pacino) is talking to Brown & Williamson research chemist, Dr. Jeffrey Wigand (Russell Crowe), while sitting in a car. Bergman is using Wigand’s expertise anonymously in explaining some scientific documents for a future “60 Minutes” story, but Wigand is suspicious Bergman has identified him (he hasn’t). When the conversation turns to responsibility in business, Wigand says he admires the CEO of Johnson & Johnson, who voluntarily pulled Tylenol off the shelves of every store in America when he found out that somebody had put poison in a few Tylenol bottles. He then sarcastically adds, “Not like the Seven Dwarfs.” When Bergman appears puzzled and asks the question in line one, Wigand starts to reply with line two. Bergman suddenly understands and completes Dr. Wigand’s sentence with, “Oh, yeh, yeh, yeh, …and swore under oath that they know nothing about addiction, disease…” This movie tells the true story of whistleblower Dr. Jeffrey Wigand, who agreed to appear on “60 Minutes” and expose Big Tobacco’s cynical and deliberate attitude on the addictive drug nicotine in cigarettes, and the resulting power play between Big Tobacco and CBS News (producer of “60 Minutes”). This is also a gut-wrenching story of how the lives of Wigand and his family are affected. As Bergman says later in the movie, “These are ordinary people under extraordinary pressure, Mike.”

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “She’s a pistol, Cal! Hope you can handle her.” “Well, I may have to start minding what she reads from now on, won’t I, Mrs. Brown?”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……

BARD
BARN
BARE

Answer: end up behind bars. The word “END” is spelled in an upward direction behind three occurrences of the word “BAR”.😎

 

Friday’s Quizzler is…….

A palindrome is a word or phrase that reads the same, if it’s turned back-to-front. The names Bob, Eve, and Otto are all palindromes. So is the name of the pop group Abba. Try to identify palindromic words from the following clues. Good luck!

Example: Part of the body
Answer: Eye

1. Midday
2. A young dog
3. Flat
4. Word for addressing a lady
5. An Eskimo canoe
6. A system for detecting aircraft, ships, etc.
7. An action
8. Pieces of music for one person
9. Grass that grows on the seashore
10. In music, half a semibreve
11. Doctrine
12. Restorer

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in NEXT WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#,

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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