Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday February 25, 2019 
Here’s the story, “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.” —Through the Looking Glass. I agree with Mr. Dumpty: Words have meaning. But surely we can seize upon a meaning and then create a word to match it. The following words—some culled from the crowdsourced online dictionary urbandictionary.com, don’t exist according to Merriam-Webster … but should. Try using these made up funny words to improve your vocabulary.

A crapella:  (ah kra-‘peh-luh) adj.—Sung (badly) while listening to music using headphones.

Athlethargy:  (ath-‘leh-ther-jee) n.—The triumph of the La-Z-Boy over the StairMaster.

Basebull: (‘bays-bull) n.—The endless litany of RBIs, ERAs, OPS, WHIP, and hits at the fingertips 
of every major-league basebore.

Beerboard: (‘beer-bohrd) v.—To ­extract secret information from colleagues by getting them drunk.

Blamestorming: (‘blaym-stohr-ming)n.—The act of attempting to identify the person who is most at fault for a plan’s failure.

Carcolepsy: (‘kahr-kuh-lep-see) n.—The tendency to fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving.  

Caroma: (kah-‘roh-muh) n.—The smell of that month-old bean burrito under the front seat that keeps you out of the carpool.

Cellfish: (‘sel-fish) n.—Someone who talks on the phone to the exclusion of those he or she is with.

Chairdrobe: (‘chair-drohb) n.—A chair on which one piles clothes that belong in the closet. Not to be confused with a floordrobe.

Chiptease: (‘chip-teez) n.—A bag of potato chips that seems full but is mostly air.

Destinesia: (des-tuh-‘nee-zhuh) n.—When you get to where you intended to go but forget why you wanted to go there.

Dudevorce: (‘dood-vohrs) n.—When two bros end their friendship. These words are so funny that they sound made up.

Dullema: (duh-‘leh-muh) n.—The choice between two equally boring outcomes.

Epiphinot: (ih-‘pih-fuh-not) n.—  An idea that seems like an amazing insight to the conceiver but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect.

Errorist: (‘air-er-ist) n.— Someone who is repeatedly or invariably wrong.

Fauxpology: (foh-‘pah-luh-jee) n.—An insincere expression of regret.

Illiteration: (il-lih-tuh-‘ray-shuhn) n.— The mistaken impression that you know more about rhetorical devices than you really do.

Internest: (‘in-ter-nest) n.— The cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around yourself for extended periods on the Internet.

Metox: (‘mee-toks) v.— To take a break from self-absorption. Check out these quirky words that don’t have an English translation.

Narcisexual: (nahr-suh-‘sek-shoo-uhl) n.— Someone attracted only to him- or herself. (See Instagram selfies)

Nerdjacking: (‘nurd-jak-ing) n.— Filling a conversation with unnecessary detail about one’s passion to an obviously uninterested bystander.

Nonversation: (non-ver-‘say-shuhn) n.—A completely meaningless or useless conversation.

Pregret: (pree-‘gret) v.— To know what you’re about to do is wrong, wrong, wrong while also knowing you will do it anyway.

Presstitute: (‘preh-stih-toot) n.­— A biased or one-sided journalist.

Preteentious: (prih-‘teen-shuhs) adj.—A level of drama achievable only by a 12-year-old.

Sinergy: (‘sih-ner-jee) n.— When two bad acts feel as good as three.

Suckrifice: (‘suh-krih-fys) n.—­Doing what you absolutely must do, even though you really, ­really hate it.

Textpectation: (tekst-pek-‘tay-shuhn) n.— The anticipation felt when awaiting a response to a text.

Typerventilate: (ty-per-‘ven-tih-layt) v.— To send messages in rapid sequence.

Unlighten: (uhn-‘ly-ten) ­v.— To learn­ something that makes you dumber. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! I hope that I have not unlightened you! Have a happy Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“The U.S. Army has officially lifted its ban on soldiers having dreadlocks. This is good
news for the Army’s elite Hacky Sack Corps.” -Conan O’Brien

“Taco Bell has announced plans to offer a $600 wedding service at its flagship restaurant
in Las Vegas. And this is cool – the burritos are conveniently wrapped in divorce papers.” -Seth Meyers
“A new report finds that over 55,000 bridges in the U.S. were found to have major structural problems last year. When asked how they’re going to fix them, the government was like, ‘Eh, we’ll cross that gaping hole when we get to it.'” -Jimmy Fallon



Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, “Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset.” She wrote at the bottom of the page, “You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it’s time to learn the difference.” 😎

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“Aren’t you a little short for a storm trooper?”

Answer:  Star Wars!
This movie sees a galactic battle between the forces of a small group of resistance fighters and an evil empire. In this particular scene, the lines are spoken by Princess Leia to Luke Skywalker, who, in his disguise as one of the evil Emperor’s soldiers, has come to rescue her from the detention block on the Death Star where she has been incarcerated. Luke’s initial response on first seeing Leia and hearing these lines is a bemused expression, before he quickly gets down to the business of rescuing the feisty princess.
 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Go ahead, make my day.”

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……

I drift forever with the current
Down these long canals they’ve made
Tame, yet wild, I run elusive
Multitasking to your aid.
Before I came, the world was darker
Colder, sometimes, rougher, true
But though I might make living easy,
I’m good at killing people too. 

 

Answer:  Electricity 
 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

A different fruit (a total of twelve) is buried in every one of the following lines.

Example: A word is considered ‘buried’ when it can be read like P A R I S in the sentence “Grand-pa(pa ris)es at seven every morning.”
Can you detect them?

Ah! If I get my good ship home
I’ll find a tempting spot,
Where mayhap pleasant flowers will bloom,
And there I’ll shape a charming cot.

Where bees sip nectar in each flower,
And Philomel on hawthorn rests,
I’ll shape a rustic, sun-kissed bower –
A bower meet for angel guests.

Then she who lives and loves with me,
Sing our days of calm repose,
Sole monarch of the flowers will be –
For Myra is indeed a rose.

 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD. SUPER SOLVING JOB KIM! 🙏🙏🙏🙇‍♀️
 
 

 LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS: http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

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Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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