Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday February 27, 2019 

What You Get When You Marry…

* A chef? (You get buttered up.)

* A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)

* A gambler? (He cheats on you.)

* A telephone operator? (He gives you a phone-y line.)

* A trashman? (He dumps you.)

* A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)

* A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)

* A shoe salesman? (He walks all over you.)

* An elevator operator? (He lets you down.)

* An artist? (He gives you the brush.)

* A jogger? (He gives you the run-around.)

 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Burger King is reportedly close to buying Popeye’s Chicken. Wow, Burger King
must be really drunk.” -Seth Meyers

“There is so much going on in the world right now. Not just in the world, there’s a lot going on in the universe. For those of you who are looking to get off the planet, astronomers at the Carnegie Institution discovered more than 100 potential planets that may be habitable, which means we’re one step closer to finding a planet with intelligent life.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“In North Carolina, a mother is suing a daycare center because one of the workers there

breastfed her son without permission. Authorities say she doesn’t really
have a case because her son is 32.” -Conan O’Brien

 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

It is Christmas eve. A burglar breaks into the home of a
prominent local lawyer. He takes the lawyer’s Christmas
gifts from under the tree leaving the packages for the
wife and children alone. As he is leaving the house, he is
apprehended by a policeman.

He confesses to what he has done but tells the policeman
that he can’t be arrested.

The policeman asks why, and he responds, “Because the law
states that I’m entitled to the presents of an attorney.”😱

 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“Go ahead, make my day.”

Answer:   Clint Eastwood!
This phrase is used by the character Harry Callaghan, played by Eastwood in the film “Sudden Impact.” It’s a form of challenge to an opponent that, if taken, will give him the excuse to strike back hard. In the late fifties and early sixties, Eastwood also played ramrod Rowdy Yate in the television series “Rawhide.”

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.”?

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…… A different fruit (a total of twelve) is buried in every one of the following lines. Example: A word is considered ‘buried’ when it can be read like P A R I S in the sentence “Grand-pa(pa ris)es at seven every morning.” Can you detect them?

Ah! If I get my good ship home
I’ll find a tempting spot,
Where mayhap pleasant flowers will bloom,
And there I’ll shape a charming cot.

Where bees sip nectar in each flower,
And Philomel on hawthorn rests,
I’ll shape a rustic, sun-kissed bower –
A bower meet for angel guests.

Then she who lives and loves with me,
Sing our days of calm repose,
Sole monarch of the flowers will be –
For Myra is indeed a rose.

 

Answer:  

Ah! I(f I g)et my good ship home
I’ll fin(d a te)mpting spot,
Where mayh(ap ple)asant flowers will bloom,
And there I’ll sha(pe a ch)arming cot.

Where bees sip (nectar in e)ach flower,
And Philo(mel on) hawthorn rests,
I’ll sha(pe a r)ustic, sun-kissed bower –
A bower meet f(or ange)l guests.

Then she wh(o live)s and loves with me,
Sin(g our d)ays of calm repose,
So(le mon)arch of the flowers will be –
For My(ra is in)deed a rose.

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

Many of our everyday words have more than one meaning. Below are eleven pairs of definitions.
Both definitions in each pair fit the same word. When read down, the first letters of the
eleven answers will spell out the name of a beloved TV celebrity.

1. Spend time idly or bread unit
2. Worker’s organization or marriage
3. Pine tree fruit or ice cream holder
4. Feeling of curiosity or savings account accrual
5. Land parcel or considerable quantity
6. Illumination or not weighty at all
7. Typewriter type style or the VIP crowd
8. Baby’s toy or city square
9. Weapon or upper body appendage
10. Bowling group or three nautical miles
11. Stand at a slant or thin

 

 
 
 
 

 LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#,

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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