Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday February 28, 2019 

* I’ll get a world record for this..
* It’s fireproof.
* He’s probably just hibernating.
* What does this button do?
* It’s probably just a rash.
* Are you sure the power is off?
* Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
* The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
* Pull the pin and count to what?
* Which wire was I supposed to cut?
* I wonder where the mother bear is.
* I’ve seen this done on TV.
* These are the good kind of mushrooms.
* I’ll hold it and you light the fuse.
* Let it down slowly.
* Rat poison only kills rats.
* It’s strong enough for both of us.
* This doesn’t taste right.
* I can make this light before it changes.
* Nice doggie.
* I can do that with my eyes closed.
* I’ve done this before.
* Well, we’ve made it this far.
* That’s odd.
* You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
* Don’t be so superstitious.
* Now watch this.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word
you first thought of.” – Burt Bacharach

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your
shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re
down there.” – George Burns

“The conventional view serves to protect us from the
painful job of thinking.” – John Kenneth Galbraith 
One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is,
when you’re carrying your bride over the threshold always
go in sideways — unless of course two broken ankles and a
concussion turns you on. 
“I know that you believe that you understood what you think
I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is
not what I meant.” -Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman 
The government will be requiring new food labels that are
more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low
fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality. 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist
and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin.

One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with
petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white
gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on,
my husband finished showering and came into the room
wearing a towel.

Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie
and put it on. “What are you doing?” I asked.

“Well” he replied, “if you are going to be formal. So am I.” 😳😎



Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

 “Go ahead, make my day.”
 “Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.”?
Answer:   Mae West!
Mae West had a sense of humour that often found her in hot water, and throughout her career often walked the thin line between censorship and shocked amusement in her audiences. In this movie, “Night After Night” she is handing in her coat to the coat-check girl when the girl admires the diamonds on her gown, hence West’s famous one-liner reply. As with most of her roles, she plays a fast talking, quick witted bad girl who always enjoys being a bad girl. West wrote most of her own material.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet.”


Wednesday’s Quizzler is……Many of our everyday words have more than one meaning. Below are eleven pairs of definitions. Both definitions in each pair fit the same word. When read down, the first letters of the eleven answers will spell out the name of a beloved TV celebrity.

1. Spend time idly or bread unit
2. Worker’s organization or marriage
3. Pine tree fruit or ice cream holder
4. Feeling of curiosity or savings account accrual
5. Land parcel or considerable quantity
6. Illumination or not weighty at all
7. Typewriter type style or the VIP crowd
8. Baby’s toy or city square
9. Weapon or upper body appendage
10. Bowling group or three nautical miles
11. Stand at a slant or thin


Answer: 1. Loaf
2. Union
3. Cone
4. Interest
5. Lot
6. Light
7. Elite
8. Block
9. Arm
10. League
11. Lean

Celebrity: Lucille Ball 



Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

Harry and his friends decide to share the last of a packet of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor beans. None were impressed with the flavor of their bean, so each decided to show off their skills by casting a different spell on them. Who cast what spell on which bean?

(Note: Primary colors refer to those of pigments, ie blue, red and yellow.)

Friends: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville and Hagrid
Colors: Green, Blue, Red, Orange and Purple
Flavors: Vomit, Earwax, Cardboard, Snot and Mud
Spell: Vanishing, Speaking, Levitating, Exploding and Growing

1. The boy with the cardboard flavored bean cast a spell which made noise. The earwax flavored bean was very quiet.

2. Harry’s bean was a primary color.

3. Hermione’s bean, which was not purple, grew almost out of control.

4. The red vomit flavored bean was levitated.

5. Hagrid’s bean, which was not a primary color, exploded after a failed illuminating spell.

6. Neville’s orange bean did not speak.

7. The green bean questioned where the orange bean had gone.

8. The snot flavored bean was blue. The green bean did not taste like earwax. The purple bean was mud flavored.


 LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.


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