* Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg,
depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

* Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy
earnin’ his salt, that he forgets his sugar.

* Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not
for good.

* When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

* On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the
past – but never the present.

* The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when
the interest is kept up.

* Many girls like to marry a military man – he can cook,
sew, and make beds, and is in good health, and he’s already
used to taking orders.

* Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age, and start bragging about it.

* The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.

* When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
your youth, remember about Algebra.

* I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to
the top.

* Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is
comfortable.

* Old age is when former classmates are so gray and
wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.

* If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have
anything to laugh at when you are old.