Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday March 8, 2019

Senior Personal Ads

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,

80’s, slim, 5’4″ (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-

looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes

and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried

fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a

six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath

not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises,

the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type,

let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy

quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seek-

ing a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the

cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to

cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to

play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a

groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track

tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.

If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put

our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many

new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Nintendo is releasing a video game that lets you simulate taking care of a baby. When they heard this, gamers said, ‘Hey, call me when you have one that simulates MAKING one.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Today was International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. There’s a party later tonight,

but I heard it’s going to be a real snausage fest.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study found that most people cant go 10 minutes without lying. But since the study took 20 minutes nobody knows what to believe.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas.
She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What
rotten luck I’ve had today! What in the world should I do
now?”

A man standing next to her suggests, “I don’t know… why
don’t you play your age?”

He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by
a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He
rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the
crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table
operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks,
“What happened? Is she all right?”

The operator replies, “I don’t know. She put all her money
on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Absolutely not! I’m a businessman. I love money, I love power, I love capitalism. I do not now and never will love children.”

Answer: Annie! This is the reason Daddy Warbucks initially gives in the movie for not wanting to adopt little orphan Annie. However, it isn’t too long before the little redheaded girl charms her way into his heart and he changes his mind.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Another fine mess you’ve gotten us into, Stanley.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is…. When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Wear away -> Travelled on an animal

2. Fill with joy -> Not on time; dead

3. Each; all -> To a high degree

4. Something that happens -> To let off pressure

5. Large property with a house -> Declare; say

6. Come out from -> To combine; unite

7. Feeling; passion -> Movement

8. Same in ability; fairness -> Trait; character

Answer: 1. Ago -> Go
2. Avenue -> Venue
3. Amen -> Men
4. Agreed -> Greed
5. Abuses -> Buses
6. Aspire -> Spire
7. Amount -> Mount
8. Avoid -> Void

Friday’s Quizzler is…….

Find a rhyme for each word below so you end up with a familiar three-word phrase in the form “__, __, and __”

Example:
Clue = “Took, Sign, Blinker”
Answer = “Hook, Line, and Sinker”

1. Flop, Crook, Glisten
2. Pin, Brace, Though
3. Versed, Beckoned, Heard
4. Leg, Sorrow, Wheel
5. Bawl, Park, Ransom
6. Sprawl, Tedium, Barge
7. Trap, Shackle, Top

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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