Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Nicholas Cage is happy its friday are you

WELCOME to Friday March 15, 2019

 

Actual church bulletin messages…….   

1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the

church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

2. Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving

milk, please come early.

3. Wednesday the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing,

“Put Me In My Little Bed,” accompanied by the pastor.

4. Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All

those wishing to become little mothers, please meet the minister in his study.

5. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. 

 
6. The service will close with “Little Drops of Water.” One of the ladies will start
quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

7. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.

8. A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.

9. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belser.

10. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…

At the end of our first date the girl told me I was crazy in
the head and I should be committed to a mental institution.
Why do women always want us to make a commitment? –Unknown

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to
say and then don’t say it. –Sam Levenson

After the accident, I told the police officer I thought the
driver of the other vehicle was drunk. He told me the other
vehicle was a cow.
 
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…. 
Last October, after much deliberation, I bought a magnolia
tree from our local nursery. After only a few weeks I noticed
that the leaves had started to shrivel and the tree appeared
to be on its last legs in spite of my tender care.

So I took some leaf samples and marched back to the nursery
to demand an explanation or get my money back.

“I know exactly what’s wrong with your magnolia,” said the
manager. “Good!” I exclaimed. “What’s it suffering from?”
You can imagine how stupid I felt when he said, “Autumn.” 😐😳😱😂

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ​”He has a knife.” “That’s not a knife. THAT’S a knife.”

Answer:  Crocodile Dundee!
In this scene Crocodile Dundee (Paul Hogan) is enjoying a visit from Australia to New York City to visit the newspaper reporter who wrote a story about him (Linda Kozlowski). While taking a walk they are confronted by a mugger (Tony Holmes). She whispers the first line, but he pulls out a gigantic Bowie knife and says the second. The mugger beats a hasty retreat. In the 1987 Academy Awards “Crocodile Dundee” was nominated for Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen but lost to “Hannah and Her Sisters.”


Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “What knockers!”  “Oh, thank you doctor.”


 

 

 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…. What does this rebus represent?

1.Bob drowned Frosted Flakes
2.Joe buried Cap’n Crunch
3.Sarah threw Rice Krispies off a cliff
4.Emily shot Cocoa Puffs

Answer:  Serial Killers (Cereal Killers)

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is…….Harry and his friends decide to share the last of a packet of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour beans. None were impressed with the flavour of their bean, so each decided to show off their skills by casting a different spell on them. Who cast what spell on which bean? (Note: Primary colours refer to those of pigments, ie blue, red and yellow.)

Friends: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville and Hagrid
Colours: Green, Blue, Red, Orange and Purple
Flavours: Vomit, Earwax, Cardboard, Snot and Mud
Spell: Vanishing, Speaking, Levitating, Exploding and Growing

1. The boy with the cardboard flavored bean cast a spell which made noise. The earwax flavored bean was very quiet.

2. Harry’s bean was a primary color.

3. Hermione’s bean, which was not purple, grew almost out of control.

4. The red vomit flavoured bean was levitated.

5. Hagrid’s bean, which was not a primary color, exploded after a failed illuminating spell.

6. Neville’s orange bean did not speak.

7. The green bean questioned where the orange bean had gone.

8. The snot flavored bean was blue. The green bean did not taste like earwax. The purple bean was mud flavored.


 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

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Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

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