Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Monday March 18, 2019
​​​Here’s the story….

Maybe this is why they don’t teach music in high school
any more. Following are actual answers from students on
music tests…

– The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

– Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

– Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

– All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they sounded

like because there are no known descendants.

– Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven’s Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin’s Rap City in Blue.

– Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

– A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

– Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

– Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

– I know what a sextet is but I’d rather not say.

– Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children.

In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

– Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!



“This week, Wisconsin is hosting the U.S. Cheese Championship. Once again,
the winner is expected to be ‘Heart Disease.'” -Conan O’Brien



“According to a new study, cats may have more potential than dogs to sniff out
bombs. They just won’t bother to tell you.” -Seth Meyers



“The Centers for Disease Control reminds you, still the best way to avoid contracting
an STD is to get really into Dungeons and Dragons in high school.” -Jimmy Kimmel



Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”

The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me! Mommy said we came from monkeys.”  His father replied, “No, your mother was talking about her side of the family.” 😳😱😂



Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “What knockers!” “Oh, thank you doctor.”

Answer: Young Frankenstein
This scene is typical Mel Brooks’ humor (he was the director and co-writer of the screenplay). Doctor Frankenstein (Gene Wilder) is holding his well-endowed young lab assistant Inga (Terri Garr), who is wearing a low-cut dress. When he comments with the first line on some over-size doorknockers on the castle doors, she replies with the second. In the 1975 Academy Awards “Young Frankenstein” was nominated for two Oscars but didn’t win either. In the scene where Dr. Frankenstein and the monster (Peter Boyle) are dancing with top hats and canes (the “Puttin’ on the Ritz” scene) it is Boyle who came up with a strangled version of “Puiinin on da reeez!”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You don’t wanna marry me.” “Why don’t you love me, Jenny? I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”





Friday’s Quizzler is….
Harry and his friends decide to share the last of a packet of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor beans. None were impressed with the flavor of their bean, so each decided to show off their skills by casting a different spell on them. Who cast what spell on which bean?

(Note: Primary colors refer to those of pigments, ie blue, red and yellow.)

Friends: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville and Hagrid
Colors: Green, Blue, Red, Orange and Purple
Flavors: Vomit, Earwax, Cardboard, Snot and Mud
Spell: Vanishing, Speaking, Levitating, Exploding and Growing

1. The boy with the cardboard flavored bean cast a spell which made noise. The earwax flavored bean was very quiet.

2. Harry’s bean was a primary color.

3. Hermione’s bean, which was not purple, grew almost out of control.

4. The red vomit flavored bean was levitated.

5. Hagrid’s bean, which was not a primary color, exploded after a failed illuminating spell.

6. Neville’s orange bean did not speak.

7. The green bean questioned where the orange bean had gone.

8. The snot flavored bean was blue. The green bean did not taste like earwax. The purple bean was mud flavored.

Answer: Harry levitated the red vomit flavored bean.
Ron made the green cardboard flavored bean speak uncontrollably.
Hermione made the blue snot flavored bean grow.
Neville made his orange earwax flavored bean disappear, much to his disappointment as he wanted it to multiply.
Hagrid exploded his purple mud flavored bean.


Monday’s Quizzler is…….  Can you decipher these common Christmas Carols?

1. Happiness to the Global Ecosystem
2. Small male percussionist
3. I am experiencing nocturnal visions of a colorless holiday
4. Festoon the Corridors
5. A Non-summer fairytale area
6. Oh holiday conifer
7. Ten plus two twenty-four hour periods of holiday festivity
8. Hey tiny city in Israel
9. In a remote location in a barn stall







LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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