Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday March 22, 2019


True excerpts from grade school students’ papers:

* The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

* A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

* (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

* The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

* Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

* The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

* The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

* The parts of speech are lungs and air.

* We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk

from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

* One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

* A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

* One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

* The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

* The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

* The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

* The future of “I give” is “I take.”

* Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

* Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

* In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1.”

“The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter, the spirit heals with joy.”
“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we might as well laugh.”
“One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a
pleasure of life as laughter.”  — Joseph Addison
“True happiness… arises in the first place from the enjoyment of one’s self; and in the next from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.”  — Joseph Addison
“Be merry that you may be serious.”  — Aristotle
“There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind that love to laugh,
and the kind that need to.”  — Swami Beyondananda
“One must laugh before one is happy, or one may die without
ever laughing at all.”  — Jean de La Bruyere
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”  —  Leo Buscaglia
“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates
your energy, and inspires your hopes.”  — Andrew Carnegie

“Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most

surely wasted.”    — Sebastien Roch Nicolas Chamfort

 
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Preparing for a family vacation, my sister-in-law and her
husband explained to their young children that they would
be sitting in the car for a very long time. The kids were
told they would not be arriving at their destination until
after dark, and were warned not to keep saying, “Are we
there yet?”

After a few minutes of peaceful driving, their five-year-old
daughter perked up, “Is it dark yet?”

Animated GIF
 

 

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy.”
“What do you mean, you mean the way I talk?”

Answer: Goodfellas!
In this scene several mobsters are socializing at a nightclub when Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) tells a story. Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) reacts with the first line. Hair-trigger Tommy suddenly gets serious and says the second line and then adds, “You mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you?” He later acts like it was all an act and says, “I almost had him.” Although the characters in “Goodfellas” were fictionalized, the story was based on actual incidents and people. When the real Henry Hill entered the Witness Protection Program he was relocated to Redmond, WA, and while there he ran an Italian restaurant. In the 1991 Academy Awards, Joe Pesci won the Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role and “Goodfellas” was nominated but did not win in five more categories (including Best Picture). Best Picture that year was won by “Dances with Wolves.”


Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You know ______, I read about you all in the papers, and I just get scared.”  “Now Ms. Parker, don’t you believe what you read in all them newspapers.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…. Which one of the following words does not belong with the other six?

Issue
Mishap
Parachute
Ocean
Semiconscious
Anxious
Mansion

Answer: Mishap is the misfit. The other six words, and the three in the title, all contain the ‘sh’ sound – which is spelled in nine different ways!
Ironically, the word which does contain -sh- is not pronounced ‘sh’!
‘Schedule’ would count as another spelling of the same sound, depending on which side of the Atlantic you studied!

Friday’s Quizzler is…….When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Adoration -> Elevate
2. Indulge in -> Permit
3. Den -> Atmosphere
4. Precipitation -> Current time
5. Morally pure -> Swift action
6. Prize -> Person under protection
7. Head covering -> City related
8. Most plump -> Provide evidence for

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

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Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

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