Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday March 25, 2019

Here’s the story….
Many of us [those over 40, WAY over 40, or hovering near 40]
are quite confused about how we should present ourselves.
We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and
whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current
fashions. Despite what you may have seen, the following com-
binations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirt and support hose

5. Ankle bracelet and corn pads

6. Speedo’s and cellulite 😳

7. A belly ring and a gall bladder scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirt and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirt and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots 😱

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind
when you shop! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’,

meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood

sucking parasites’.”- Larry Hardiman

“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to

pull a sled through snow.” -Jeff Valdez

“For those who may not know this: When the preacher says,

‘You may now kiss the bride,’ he’s only speaking to the

groom.” -David Gunter

“My sister was in labor for thirty-six hours. Ow! She got

wheeled out of delivery, looked at me, and said, ‘Adopt.'”

-Caroline Rhea

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state
trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia.
Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked
when he walked up to the car.

“I have never been stopped like this before,” she said to the
officer.

“What do they usually do, ma’am,” he asked, “shoot the tires
out?” 😎

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “You know ______, I read about you all in the papers, and I just get scared.”
“Now Ms. Parker, don’t you believe what you read in all them newspapers.”

Answer: Bonnie and Clyde
In this scene Clyde Barrow (Warren Beatty) and Bonnie Parker (Faye Dunaway) have returned to Bonnie’s hometown so Bonnie can see her mother (Mabel Cavitt). The mother speaks the first line and Clyde tries to reassure her with the second. In the 1968 Academy Awards. “Bonnie and Clyde” was nominated for ten Oscars, including Best Picture (but lost out to “In the Heat of the Night”). Estelle Parsons (who played Blanche, the wife of Clyde’s brother Buck) won for Best Actress in a Supporting Role. Warren Beatty, Michael J. Pollard , Gene Hackman, Faye Dunaway and director Arthur Penn were also nominated for awards but did not win. This was Gene Wilder’s first feature film (although he had some previous TV and Broadway experience).

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “We named the dog Indiana.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Adoration -> Elevate
2. Indulge in -> Permit
3. Den -> Atmosphere
4. Precipitation -> Current time
5. Morally pure -> Swift action
6. Prize -> Person under protection
7. Head covering -> City related
8. Most plump -> Provide evidence for

Answer: 1. Praise -> Raise
2. Wallow -> Allow
3. Lair -> Air
4. Snow -> Now
5. Chaste -> Haste
6. Award -> Ward
7. Turban -> Urban
8. Fattest -> Attest

Monday’s Quizzler is……. Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Eat – Fact
2. Fist – Spam
3. Ham – Smock
4. Tilde – Food
5. Sale – Cranking

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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