Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday April 4, 2019

   

“OLD” IS WHEN…

Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

Your Honey Dressed Provocatively catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

Getting a little action” means, “I don’t need to take any fiber today.”

Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.

An “all nighter” means not getting up to use the bathroom!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“Industry experts are speculating that Chipotle could be planning to add breakfast options.  Of course, Chipotle already has a breakfast option. It’s the half a burrito you woke up next to.” -Seth Meyers

“A school in Tennessee is facing criticism for separating students with bad grades from students with good grades at lunch. That’s crazy! You don’t use grades to separate kids. Everyone knows that kids should be separated by clothes, looks, and how much money their parents make.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Psychologists now believe that adulthood begins at 25, not 18. They also believe that middle age begins the first time you eat at a Denny’s while sober.” -Conan O’Brien
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….  
Tony, having his second son christened, was much concerned

about getting the correct name on the birth certificate.
“Will you please name the baby just as I give it to you?”
“Certainly,” answered the minister, “why shouldn’t I?”

“Well you see, it’s like this,” replied Tony. “When I told
you I wanted to name my first boy Tom, you wrote on his
birth certificate ‘Thomas.’

This boy I want to name Jack.” 😳

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “In any place where they fight, a man who knows how to drill men can always be a king. We will go to those parts, and say to any king we find, ‘D’you want to vanquish your foes?’ And we will show him how to drill men, for we know that better than anything else. Then we will subvert the king, and seize his throne, and establish a dynasty.”    

Answer:  The Man Who Would Be King
Daniel and Peachy are two ex-British soldiers who find themselves in India, when it was part of the British Empire. Rather than go home after they leave the army, they devise this plan to make money, and set themselves up as royalty. This quote comes from near the beginning of the movie, when they are telling Rudyard Kipling their plan.


Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I must thank the pipe-smoking Colonel Arbuthnot for a remark which finally resolved all my confusions about this, uh…this extraordinary case…
“Trial by twelve good men and true is a sound system.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…. A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) overweight dam builder & symptom of a sick flying mammal
2) bottom of the ocean & an insect-bitten dog has this
3) a cooking utensil & a nosy admirer
4) the person in charge of clocks and watches & the result of exposing silent actors to the sun 

Answer:  

1) fat beaver & bat fever
2) sea floor & flea sore
3) frying pan & prying fan
4) man of the times & tan of the mimes 
 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……. The following phrases are colloquialisms, idioms or proverbs that are written in their literal, and rather complicated form. Can you uncover their true meanings and solve this teaser?

Example: “Don’t place the two wheeled vehicle in a position preceding the equine mammal,” is the proverb “Don’t put the cart before the horse.”

1. Positive aesthetic appeal is solely the equivalent of the thickness of the epidermis.

2. The ground covering of slender leaved plants is always a more vibrant hue of a common secondary color in the proximity of the opposite surface of a structure serving as a boundary.

3. Produce the sound of sharp tapping by striking blows to a processed piece of secondary xylem from a large perennial plant.

4. The gyre that emanates shrill sounds receives the viscous lubricant.

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#,

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

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