WELCOME to Friday April 12, 2019
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you get the “Keep off the Grass” sign on the grass?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you know when you’ve run out of invisible ink?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his IPhone?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it considered a ham-hock?
If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless or naked?
If athletes get athlete?s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If I save time, when do I get it back?
If rabbits’ feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own short-
comings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather
engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects
in other people’s characters.” –Margaret Halsey
those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can
do nothing else.” –Cyrus Curtis
our enemies; probably because generally they are the same
people.” –G. K. Chesterton
I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death. –Robert Fulghum
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A father is in church with three of his young children, in-
cluding his five year old daughter.
As was customary, he sat in the very front row so that the
children could properly witness the service.
During this particular service, the minister was performing
the baptism of a tiny infant. The little five year old girl
was taken by this, observing that he was saying something
and pouring water over the infant’s head.
With a quizzical look on her face, the little girl turned
to her father and asked with all the innocence of a five
“Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby?”😳😁
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”
Answer: Clairee Belcher in “Steel Magnolias”
The quote is said by Clairee Belcher played by the talented actress, Olympia Dukakis. The scene takes place at Drum and M’Lynn’s Christmas party. Truvy Jones and Clairee are discussing Clairee’s nephew Marshall. After Truvy comments on how she is surprised how Clairee speaks about her own kin, Clairee said the line as her response, because she was a straight-forward character and enjoyed gossip. She has a heart of gold, but holds no comment back.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…. Complete the words below using three consecutive letters in alphabetical order, e.g. _ _ A _ U S; add A B and C it would become ABACUS.
1. F _ _ R I _,
2. T H I _ _ _,
3. A _ U _ _ A,
4. _ _ _ I N E,
5. A _ _ _ T E,
6. _ _ _ A C K.
Answer: 1. Fabric, 2. Thirst, 3. Alumna, 4. Define, 5. Astute, 6. Hijack.
Friday’s Quizzler is……. Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.
1. Died – Ante
2. Laze – Fibre
3. Clock – Lose
4. Font – Heard
5. Snaked – Tripped
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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