WELCOME to Friday April 19, 2019
Here’s the story…. Historical research has recently discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives.
Among them were:
His obnoxious brother Please Gogh,
His dizzy aunt Verti Gogh,
The brother who ate prunes Gotta Gogh,
The constipated uncle Cant Gogh,
The brother who worked at a convenience store Stopn Gogh,
The grandfather from Yugoslavia U Gogh,
The brother who bleached his clothes white Hue Gogh,
The cousin from Illinois Chica Gogh,
The cousin who wasn’t allowed to leave the country: M. Barr Gogh,
His magician uncle Wheredid D. Gogh,
His Mexican cousin Ahmee Gogh,
The Mexican cousin’s anglo half brother Grin Gogh,
The nephew who drove a stagecoach Wellsfar Gogh,
The ballroom dancing aunt Tan Gogh,
A sister who loved disco Go Gogh,
The bird lover uncle Flamin Gogh,
His nephew psychoanalyst E. Gogh,
The fruit loving cousin Man Gogh,
An aunt who taught positive thinking Wayto Gogh,
The little bouncy nephew Poh Gogh,
And finally his niece who travels the country in a van Winnie Bay Gogh. 😎
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Easter weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did,
but backwards and in high heels.”
– Faith Whittlesey
– Yogi Berra
absolutely wrong– or absolutely right.”
– Albert Guinon
“I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman
with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s
willing to make a decision she’ll regret in the future.”
“Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity,
and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.”
“Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.”
– Elbert Hubbard
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music,
no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.”
– Jack Handey
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
After one of the machines at work suddenly went on the fritz,
our boss called the repair service and asked to speak to the
“Hello, Ed speaking. How can I help you?” said the guy who
answered the phone.
“Sorry,” said my boss. “I was looking for Ahmed.”
“This is Ahmed,” came the reply. “How can I help you?”
“I thought you just said your name was Ed?” asked my boss.
“It is. But whenever I say ‘Ahmed,’ people think I’m saying,
‘I’m Ed.’ So I figured it’s just easier to be Ed.” 😁
Answer: Newt (Aliens)
“Aliens”, the Academy Award-winning film proceeding Ridley Scott’s popular 1979 hit, “Alien”, starred Sigourney Weaver in the main role as Ellen Ripley (which was also nominated for Best Actress). The film, released in 1986, was as great, if not better, than the original as Ripley returns to the alien planet in order to save a colony who has lost contact with Earth. Something is amiss. When they arrive, the only survivor of the alien attack, Newt, is found inside the building. Ripley goes to extreme lengths to save Newt from the various pitfalls and setbacks of the horrible alien planet, including making a solo trip into the alien queen’s lair to save the girl. The quote in question was mentioned by Newt as the survivors of the initial attack (once they first arrive) try to escape the building and depart in their shuttle. However, the aliens get there first, kill the pilot, and cause the shuttle to come crashing to the ground. Newt warns the others: “We’d better get back, ’cause it’ll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night… mostly.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Kid, Kid, what a time to fall off the wagon. Look at your eyes.” “What’s wrong with my eyes?” “Well they’re red, bloodshot.” “You ought to see ’em from my side.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is…. These word pairs are not in relation to each other, but if you find their synonyms, the two words will rhyme.
Example : Over-sized Feline = Fat Cat
Friday’s Quizzler is……. The below classified ads were spotted in this week’s newspaper. They all share a common feature.
What is that common feature, and who is each ad’s author?
1. Crimson cloaked young female seeks protection services. Task include food courier service. Outdoor experience a plus. Inquire with grandmother.
2. For Sale: 20 mattresses. Like new, used only once. Each shares common irregularity, not discernible by most. Make offer.
3. For Sale: Two adjacent lots. Located near new brick housing. Land can be cleared of debris upon request. Will build to suit.
4. Debris removal services required. Have large amounts of vegetation that requires cut up and removal. Please call for details. Gold or specialty hybrid seeds available for trade.
5. Lost: 1 Slipper, translucent in color. Sentimental value. Last seen, yesterday before midnight. Please leave message with stepmother.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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