Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday April 25, 2019

Wise proverbs of the day!

1. He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

2. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

3. Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

4. Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

5. Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.

6. Stand on toilet, get high on pot.

7. A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners.

8. He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

9. Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.

10. Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven.

11. A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
12. Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
13. All men eat, but Fu Man Chu.

14. If you want pretty nurse, you must be patient.

15. Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES...

“Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.”

– Thomas Jones

“If you can’t do what you want, do what you can.”

– Lois McMaster Bujold

“Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the

instrument as one goes on.”

– Samuel Butler

“I think vests are all about protection. The life vest pro-

tects you from drowning, and the bullet-proof vest protects

you from getting shot and the sweater vest protects you

from pretty girls.” -Demetri Martin

“Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arrising from contem-

plating the misery of another.”

–Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

“Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no
preparation is thought necessary.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson

“Scientists say they’ve found a new link between depression
and obesity. Not surprisingly it’s a sausage link.”
-Conan O’Brien

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together.

After the man received the full treatment – shave, manicure,
haircut, etc. – he placed the boy in the chair.

“I’m goin’ to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he
said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

When the boy’s haircut was done and the man still hadn’t
returned, the barber said, “It looks like your daddy forgot
all about you.”

“That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up,
took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna
get a free haircut!'”😳🤔

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”

Answer: Back to the Future!
At the film’s close, Doc Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) has hustled Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) and Marty’s girlfriend Jennifer Parker (Claudia Wells) into the time-traveling DeLorean to head into the future (and set up the sequel). When Marty worries aloud that they don’t have enough road ahead of them to get the car up to the magic speed of 88 mph, Doc Brown responds with the quote above, and the car then sprouts wings and takes off into the sky.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You’re not so tough without your car, are ya?”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make

a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’

from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Rode – Can

2. Font – Farce

3. Tory – Stale

4. Dire – Cash

5. Self – Shill

Answer: 1. Rod – Cane
2. Front – Face
3. Story – Tale
4. Die – Crash
5. Shelf – Sill

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

The following phrases are colloquialisms, idioms or proverbs that are written in their literal, and rather complicated form. Can you uncover their true meanings and solve this teaser?

Example: “Don’t place the two wheeled vehicle in a position preceding the equine mammal,” is the proverb “Don’t put the cart before the horse.”

1. Positive aesthetic appeal is solely the equivalent of the thickness of the epidermis.

2. The ground covering of slender leaved plants is always a more vibrant hue of a common secondary color in the proximity of the opposite surface of a structure serving as a boundary.

3. Produce the sound of sharp tapping by striking blows to a processed piece of secondary xylem from a large perennial plant.

4. The gyre that emanates shrill sounds receives the viscous lubricant.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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