Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday May 6, 2019


WISDOM…

1. Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

2. Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earning’ his salt, that he forgets his sugar.  😳

3. Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.

4. When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

5. On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past – but never the present.

6. The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when the interest is kept up.

7. Many girls like to marry a military man – he can cook, sew, and make beds, and is in good health, and he’s already used to taking orders.

8. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age, and start bragging about it.

9. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

10. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember about Algebra.

11. I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

12. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

13. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.

14. If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.    

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES...

“Fools and wise men are equally harmless. It is the half

fools and the half wise who are dangerous.”
–Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
                         
“For God’s sake give me the young man who has brains enough
to make a fool of himself.” -Robert L Stevenson
                         
“The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large

audience.” Artie Schopenhauer 


“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary
freezing of water.” – Carl Reiner

“Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and
the less the artist does the better.” – Andre Gide

“Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.”
– Jim Morrison 

“Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.”
– Jules Renard

“The one serious conviction that a man should have is that
nothing is to be taken too seriously.” – Nicholas Butler

 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

 A friend of mine is responsible for alumni relations at his
high-school alma mater.

Last fall, a member of the Class of 86 returned the standard
alumni questionnaire with this response:

Marital Status – Not good
Wife’s Name – Plaintiff🤔

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “You promised my daddy you wouldn’t take me far off.”
“Darlin’, you’re goin’ to have to decide if you’re my wife or his daughter.”

Answer:  Coal Miner’s Daughter!
In this scene Doolittle “Doo” Lynn (Tommy Lee Jones) proposes moving his new bride Loretta (Sissy Spacek) from near her home in Butcher Hollow (a.k.a. Butcher Holler), Kentucky to the state of Washington. Loretta objects with the first line and Doo replies with the second. Both Sissy Spacek and Beverly D’Angelo (she plays county singer Patsy Cline) do all their own singing in this movie. In the 1981 Academy Awards, Sissy Spacek won the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role. “Coal Miner’s Daughter” was nominated for Best Picture, but lost to “Ordinary People.”


Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I want my mommy!”  “I’m all you got.”

 

Friday’s Quizzler is….

Each sentence below contains a word that can be anagrammed to answer or describe the sentence. Example: Craft that might tip in the ocean. Answer: Canoe (Anagram of ocean)

1. You cover a mattress with one of these
2. Dangerous thing for an alcoholic to begin
3. Feature on which a tire might be rated
4. Feeling about a poisonous adder
5. Weapon that a cavalryman bears
6. It doesn’t necessarily bring rain, but it could

Answer:  1. Sheet
2. Binge
3. Tread
4. Dread
5. Sabre or Saber
6. Cloud

  

Monday’s Quizzler is…….

You are a prisoner sentenced to death. The Emperor offers you a chance to live by playing a simple game. He gives you 50 black marbles, 50 white marbles and 2 empty bowls. He then says, “Divide these 100 marbles into these 2 bowls. You can divide them any way you like as long as you use all the marbles. Then I will blindfold you and mix the bowls around. You then can choose one bowl and remove ONE marble. If the marble is WHITE you will live, but if the marble is BLACK… you will die.”

How do you divide the marbles up so that you have the greatest probability of choosing a WHITE marble?

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:  http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com, 

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

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