1. When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
2. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
3. To some – marriage is a word … to others – a sentence.
4. Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right so I left.
5. She was the apple of his eye and he liked to sit down be cider.
6. To many girls the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.
7. What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Can’t elope.
8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
9. When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.
10. Some men view marriage as a matter of wife and debt.
11. Soon after Sam and Ella got married they experienced food poisoning.😁
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“According to a new report, Americans are fatter than ever
with 25 percent of Americans now classified as obese.
Doctors compiled the report by going to the mall and
looking around.” – Conan O’Brien
– Alfred E. Newman
graphy titled ‘What Am I Doing Here?’ Larry says that if
the book sells, he’s got plans for several sequels including,
‘What Day is This? and Where Are My Pants?'” -Conan O’Brien
I have been using performance-enhancing vodka.”
said, ‘For only 39 cents, I can super size those fries for
you.'” -Jay Leno
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once
all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins.
One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement.
“Okay Simpson,” says the investigator, “you were near the
scene – what happened?”
“Well, it’s like this. Old Charley was in the mixing room,
and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light
“He was smoking in the mixing room?” the investigator said
in stunned horror, “How long had he been with the company?”
“About 20 years, sir”
“20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match
in the mixing room, I’d have thought it would have been the
last thing he’d have done.”
“It was, sir.” 😱😳😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “All right. Open your eyes.” “I’m flying, Jack!”
In this famous scene Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) holds Rose Bukater (Kate Winslet) standing with outstretched arms at the very front of RMS Titanic. Jack says the first line and Rose says the second. “Titanic” tells the historically-accurate saga of the luxurious White Star ocean liner that sank in 1912 on its maiden voyage, through the lives of two fictional characters, Jack Dawson and Rose Bukater. “Titanic” won 11 Oscars in the 1998 Academy Awards, including Best Picture and Best Original Song for “My Heart Will Go On” sung by Celine Dion. Both Gloria Stuart (old Rose) and Kate Winslet (young Rose) were nominated for Oscars, but neither won. The designation “RMS” stands for “Royal Mail Steamship” (also called Steamer or Ship).
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I don’t know about this beaming stuff. Is it safe?”
“Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me up twice last night. It was wonderful.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
You are given a pool of ten 3-letter words. Your job is to use all of the words in the pool to create five pairs of words such that each pair can be anagrammed into a 6-letter word. Example: nod + rug = ground.
Pool: bee, hip, met, pry, raw, red, rum, sod, sun, toe
Answer: bee + raw = beware
met + sod = modest
red + rum = murder
pry + toe = poetry
sun + hip = punish
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
** or Hyphen-Word Hunt! **
Some English words are usually paired with a hyphen. The rules for this are interesting to browse, and some word pairs can even be correctly written in three different ways – e.g. playgroup, play group, or play-group.
This teaser invites you find a commonly hyphenated word-pair inside a pair of words.
e.g. undisCLOSEd – cUPbearer gives us CLOSE-UP
1. Drunken – King
2. Proliferate – Synthesizer
3. Pothole – Dehumidifier
4. Superclean – Prosecutor
… and a triple!
5. Acknowledge – Excited – Footballer
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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