Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday May 21, 2019
 
Its Great to be a Guy because….
1. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
2. Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
3. We can open all our own jars.
4. Phone conversations last 30 seconds.
5. We know useful stuff about computers, tanks and airplanes.
6. Old friends don’t care if we’ve lost or gained weight.
7. Our last name stays put.
8. We can leave a hotel room bed unmade.
9.We can kill our own food.
10. The garage is all ours.
11. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
12. We can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
13. If someone forgets to invite us to something, they can still be our friend.
14. Our underwear costs $6.50 for a pack of 4.
15.We don’t have to shave below our neck.
16. If we’re 34 and single, no one notices.
17. Chocolate is just another snack.
18. Where and when we pee doesn’t effect our emotional well being.
19. We can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
20. Flowers & duct tape – and we can fix everything. 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES...

“A company will make a life-size 3D printed model of yourself that you can send to your mom for $30,000. It’s a great way of telling your mom I’d rather spend $30,000 than visit you in person.” -Jimmy Fallon

 
“A new study suggests that a chemical released when a person is hungry can lead
to poor decision-making. It’s what Taco Bell calls ‘our entire business model.'” -Seth Meyers
 
“Netflix is testing a new feature that will allow you to hide what you’ve been watching.
You just click the button and it says, I want to stay married.” -Conan O’Brien


 

“A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the
word you first thought of.” – Burt Bacharach

 

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at
the people he gave it to.” –Dorothy Parker

 

“People are going on dates now to coffee bars. This is the
worst idea. Four cappuccinos later, your date doesn’t look
any better.” –Margot Black

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.

The first spaceman says, “The dominant life forms on the
earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons.”

The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks,
“Are they an emerging intelligence?”

The first spaceman says, “I don’t think so…They have them
aimed at themselves.” 😱😳😏

 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.”
“Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don’t have men killed.”

Answer: The Godfather!
In this scene Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) is talking to his girlfriend, Kay Adams (Diane Keaton) near Kay’s New Hampshire school after Michael’s return from Sicily. He is trying to persuade her to marry him. When Michael tells Kay, “I’m working for my father now, Kay. He’s been sick — very sick,” she says, “But you’re not like him, Michael. I thought you weren’t going to become a man like your father. That’s what you told me.” Then Michael says line one and Kay responds with line two. Michael then says, “Oh. who’s being naive, Kay?”


Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You’re a wizard, ______.”  “I’m a what?”

 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is….

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Adoration -> Elevate
2. Indulge in -> Permit
3. Den -> Atmosphere
4. Precipitation -> Current time
5. Morally pure -> Swift action
6. Prize -> Person under protection
7. Head covering -> City related
8. Most plump -> Provide evidence for

Answer:

1. Praise -> Raise
2. Wallow -> Allow
3. Lair -> Air
4. Snow -> Now
5. Chaste -> Haste
6. Award -> Ward
7. Turban -> Urban
8. Fattest -> Attest

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

Translate each word group into a phonetic sound, and then string them all together to form the name of a body of water.

For example:
polar or grizzly, finger jewelry, not curved
Translation… Bear, Ring, Straight
Answer… Bering Strait

1. Vehicle, curved bone, to exist, not yang, to look at
2. Circle segment, bloodsucking arachnid, to be in debt, tibia
3. Cat sound, dreidel letter, 18-hole sport
4. Unaffiliated film, Japanese currency, interjection, to eschew
5. Helper, flightless South American bird, clock sound, programming language


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

 

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