Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday May 22, 2019
Computer Punography.. 

1.What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

2.What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk.

3.Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat.

4.What is a computer virus? A terminal illness.

5.My computer isn’t that nervous. It’s just a bit ANSI.

6.The information went data way ——–>

7.BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding.

8.C:> Bad, bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!

9.Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

10.C:> File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

11.Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.

12.Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.

13.Who’s General Failure, & why’s he reading my disk?

14.Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.

15.THINK — it gives you something to do while the computer is down.

16.To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!




“In Florida, a 10-year-old girl pried herself from the jaws of an 8-foot alligator. Then the little girl remembered she lives in Florida, and climbed back in.” -Conan O’Brien


“Hey, I saw that today is National Teacher Day! Unless you’re home-schooled.
Then it’s Mother’s Day: Part 2.” -Jimmy Fallon
“On this day in 1960, the FDA approved the world’s first commercially produced birth
control pill. And on this day in 1961, the first couple learned what
99.9 percent effective means.” -Seth Meyers
“To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.”
– Joan Klempner

“To be great is to be misunderstood.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“People everywhere confuse what they read
in newspapers with news.” – A. J. Liebling 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

A priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol
on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle
on the floor of the car.

He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”

“Just water,” says the priest. The trooper says, “Then why
do I smell wine?”

The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s
done it again!” 😁😎 



Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???“You’re a wizard, ______.”  “I’m a what?”

Answer:  Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (a.k.a. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone) After his parents are killed by the evil wizard Voldemort (Richard Bremmer), baby Harry Potter is raised by his Aunt Petunia (Fiona Shaw) and Uncle Vernon (Richard Griffiths), who treat him poorly. When he turns 11 he is invited to attend the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with the invitation delivered personally by gentle giant Rubeus Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane). In this scene Hagrid says the first line when the invitation is delivered and a surprised Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) exclaims the second. In the 2002 Academy Awards “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” was nominated in three categories but didn’t win any Oscars. Many of the impressive special effects in this movie were created by George Lucas’ company Industrial Light and Magic. Richard Harris at first turned down the part of Albus Dumbledore, but after his eleven-year-old granddaughter heard her grandfather had turned down the part she threatened never to speak to him again if he didn’t reconsider. He wound up taking it.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I told you not to pick up the phone.”
“Then stop calling me.”



Tuesday’s Quizzler is….

Translate each word group into a phonetic sound, and then string them all together to form the name of a body of water.
For example:
polar or grizzly, finger jewelry, not curved
Translation… Bear, Ring, Straight
Answer… Bering Strait

1. Vehicle, curved bone, to exist, not yang, to look at
2. Circle segment, bloodsucking arachnid, to be in debt, tibia
3. Cat sound, dreidel letter, 18-hole sport
4. Unaffiliated film, Japanese currency, interjection, to eschew
5. Helper, flightless South American bird, clock sound, programming language

Answer: 1. Car – Rib – Be – Yin – See == Caribbean Sea
2. Arc – Tick – Owe – Shin == Arctic Ocean
3. Purr – Shin – Golf == Persian Gulf
4. Indie – Yen – Oh! – Shun == Indian Ocean
5. Aid – Rhea – Tick – C == Adriatic Sea 



Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

In this teaser, you have to find the odd ones out in the groups of words. BUT WAIT!

There’s a catch. Each group of words has TWO words which do not belong. Can you find them both?


Lily – Jane – Tulip – Rose

Jane does not belong as it’s the only one which is not a flower.

Tulip also does not belong because it’s the only one which is not a girl’s name.

You’re on your own for the rest!

1. Aqua – Hazel – Willow – Cherry

2. Cat – Sword – Hamster – Dog

3. Prince – Double – Queen – King

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at



CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.




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