Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Tuesday May 28, 2019 

Here’s the story…..

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The “friends and survivors” of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:
99 cent show”He swept the rug under the carpet.”
“She’s burning the midnight oil at both ends.”
“It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.”
“It’s time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard.”
“She’s robbing Peter to pay the piper.”
“He’s up a tree without a paddle.”
“Beware my friend…you are skating on hot water.”
“Keep your ear to the grindstone.”
“Sometimes you’ve gotta stick your neck out on a limb.”

“Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!



“I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and

I have succeeded fairly well.” –Robert Benchley
“Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations
where the audience members all punch and kick one another.” –George Carlin
“There exists a widespread myth that humans should learn about sex from their parents.
My relationship with my father nearly ended when he tried to teach me how to drive.
I can’t imagine our relationship having survived his instructing me how to have sex.” –Bob Smith    


Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him enthusiastic about the idea.
She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he’d meet, and so on.
When the first day came, Tommy eagerly went off and came back home with a lot of glowing reports about school.
The next morning when his mother woke him up, he asked, “What for?” She told him it was time to get ready for school.
“What?” he asked. “Again?” 😁😎

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Your son has a very great talent. I don’t think you are aware how great it is. That he is attempting to use that very talent against your will.”
“He is a very willful boy.”

Answer: The Shining! In the events leading up to this scene, Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) has accepted the job of being the winter caretaker for an isolated Colorado resort hotel, despite hearing a grisly story about a previous caretaker going stir crazy and killing his family. Jack, his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and son Danny (Danny Lloyd) arrive at the Overlook hotel just as the staff is getting ready to leave. They are shown the kitchen by the resort’s chef Dick Hallorann (Scatman Crothers), who realizes Danny has the special power of mental telepathy his grandmother used to call “shining.” In this scene a delusional Jack is having a conversation with Delbert Grady (Philip Stone), a butler he thinks is the caretaker who killed his family. Grady says line one and Jack replies with line two. Grady then adds, “Indeed he is, Mr. Torrance. A very willful boy. A rather naughty boy, if I may be so bold, sir.” When Jack replies, “It’s his mother. She, uh, interferes” Grady says, “Perhaps they need a good talking to, if you don’t mind my saying so. Perhaps a bit more. My girls, sir, they didn’t care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches, and tried to burn it down. But I “corrected” them sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I “corrected” her.” The ominous-sounding music in the opening scene is just wonderful.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ​”Why do you want this so badly?” “Because they said I couldn’t have it.”



Friday’s Quizzler is….

The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. Try to find all four.
Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)

1. Revert to the first quadrilateral of equal sides and angles.

2. One suffering from Macular Degeneration guiding one with less than 1/10 of normal vision.

3. Restrain your multiple Equus caballus.

4. The writing utensil containing small amounts of ink is more puissant than the iron hand-held weapon.


1. Back to Square One–A term meaning to go back to the beginning, or the original idea.

2. Blind leading the blind–Term which means the person in charge knows no more than the person or people he is leading.

3. Hold your Horses–Meaning be patient and to wait.

4. The pen is mightier than the sword–A phrase that means you can get more accomplished by solving your problems in a calm way, than resorting to violence.




Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

S , D





LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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