Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Friday May 31, 2019 

Weekend Bumper Stickers of the day…..
* All stressed out and no one to choke!
* All that glitters has a high refractive index.
* All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
* Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
* Caution: I drive like you do.
* Forget about world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
* Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!
* Help Wanted – Telepath. You know where to apply.
* How far can you open your mind before your brains fall out?
* I fish! Therefore, I lie.
* Karaoke. Ancient Japanese for: Tone Deaf
* Lead me not into temptation. I know my way.
* Milk Sucks. Got Beer?
* Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
* Only Borrow Money from Pessimists. They Don’t Expect it Back.
* Procrastinators Unite… Tomorrow!
* Save California! When you leave take someone with you.
* Thank you for keeping this a work-free environment.
* To err is human. To really foul things up requires computers.
* Veni Vidi Velcro: I came, I saw, I got stuck.
* Warning! I know KARATE!! (and seven other Chinese words).

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
– W. C. Fields

“A book of quotations… can never be complete.”
– Robert M. Hamilton

“Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills
the first woman she meets and then teams up with three
complete strangers to kill again.”
– Rick Polito, Marin Independent Journal’s TV listing
for “The Wizard of Oz” 


“The highlight of my baseball career came in Philadelphia’s
Connie Mack Stadium when I saw a fan fall out of the upper
deck. When he got up and walked away the crowd booed.”
–Bob Uecker  
“Here’s what caught my eye today: A Tennessee minister was
arrested for being drunk, high, and for wearing a skirt.
Why is that illegal? Where I am from in Scotland, if you
see a guy drunk, stoned out of his mind, and wearing a
skirt, you say, ‘Good morning, Grandpa!'” -Craig Ferguson

“A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is
one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conver-
sationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.”
-Lisa Kirk   
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

 During court one day, the judge quietly passed the clerk a
note reading: “Blind on right side, may be falling. Please
call someone.”

Understandably alarmed, the clerk called for help before
whispering to the judge that paramedics were on their way.

Puzzled, the judge pointed to a sagging Venetian blind on
the right side of the room and explained, “I was thinking
maybe someone from maintenance!”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???​”Tell me I’m a good man.” “You ARE.” 

Answer:  Saving Private Ryan!
In the events leading up to this scene, Captain John Miller (Tom Hanks) and a squad of soldiers in World War II are sent to try and locate Private James Ryan (Matt Damon) after a clerk notices his three brothers have recently been killed. However, Ryan does not want to abandon his fellow soldiers when he is told by Captain Miller that he is going home. As he says when informed of the deaths of his brothers, “You can tell her [his mother] that when you found me, I was with the only brothers I had left. And that there was no way I was deserting them. I think she’d understand that.” In this scene, an old James Ryan is looking at Captain Miller’s gravestone in the American Cemetery in Normandy and remembering his dying words, “James, earn this… earn it.” He turns to his wife and says line one. She replies back with line two. In the 1999 Academy Awards “Saving Private Ryan” won five Oscars and was nominated for six more, including Best Picture (but lost to “Shakespeare in Love”). This movie was based on the true story of the Niland brothers.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You’re going into the men’s room.” “Huh? Oh, so I am. I do need new glasses.”


Thursday’s Quizzler is….

On an otherwise deserted and isolated island, 200 perfect logicians are stranded. The islanders are perfectly logical in every decision they make, and they will not do anything unless they are absolutely certain of the outcome. However, they cannot communicate with each other. They are forbidden from speaking with one another, or signing, or writing messages in the sand, else they be smited by the god of the island.

Of the 200 islanders, 100 have blue eyes, and 100 have brown eyes. However, no individual knows what color their own eyes are. There are no reflective surfaces on the island for the inhabitants to see a reflection of their own eyes. They can each see the 199 other islanders and their eye colors, but any given individual does not know if his or her own eyes are brown, blue, or perhaps another color entirely. And remember, they cannot communicate with each other in any way under penalty of death.

Each night, when a ship comes, the islanders have a chance to leave the barren and desolate spit of land they have been marooned on. If an islander tells the captain of the ship the color of his or her own eyes, they may board the ship and leave. If they get it wrong, they will be shot dead.

Now, there is one more person on the island: the guru, who the islanders know to always tell the truth. The guru has green eyes. One day, she stands up before all 200 islanders and says:

“I see a person with blue eyes.”

Who leaves the island? And when do they leave?


Answer: All 100 blue-eyed people leave on the 100th night. First, we propose that two blue-eyed people are on the island. They would both leave on the second night, because they would each look at the other blue-eyed person on the second morning and realize that the only reason the other blue-eyed person wouldn’t leave on the first night is because they see another person with blue eyes. Seeing no one else with blue eyes, each of these two people realize it must be them. Now consider the case of three blue-eyed islanders. It has been established that if only two people had blue eyes they would leave on the second night. You, the third blue-eyed person in our example, know this, as do the other two blue-eyed people. So when you wake up on the third morning, and the two other blue-eyed people have not left, you know that they must see another person with blue eyes, and you can see that no one else on the island has blue eyes, so you know it must be you. All three of you realize this simultaneously, and all three leave on the third night. If a fourth blue-eyed person is on the island, he will reason the scenario with three blue-eyed people on the island, and when he sees that they have not left the island during the fourth morning, he/she/it will leave the island on the fourth day, and so will all the other blue-eyed people. If we follow this pattern, we will eventually reach the answer of 100 people leaving the island after 100 days.



Friday’s Quizzler is…….

If you balanced a broom horizontally on your finger, so that your finger was exactly on the broom’s center of gravity, marked that spot and cut the broom in two, then you would have a long and a short piece. The long piece being most of the handle and the short piece being the bristle end and a small part of the handle. Now what will happen if you weigh both pieces? (pick all that apply)

A) The short piece will weigh more.
B) The long piece will weigh more.
C) Both will weigh the same.
D) Your mom will find out and hit you with both pieces!


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at



CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.




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