Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Tuesday June 4, 2019 

Real Signs and advertisements…

Signs In a clothing store:
“Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

In the window of an Oregon general store:
“Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?”

In a Pennsylvania cemetary:
“Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but
their own graves.”

On a Tennessee highway:
“Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”

From the safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket:
“If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this
card, please tell a crew member.”

On a Maine shop:
“Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible
prices and workmanship.”

On a delicatessen wall:
“Our best is none too good.”😳🤔

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!




 “Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example,
makes a wonderful ancestor.” – Laurence J. Peter

“Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and
thinking what nobody has thought.” – Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
“What if this weren’t a hypothetical question?” 😁
– Unknown

“Men who never get carried away should be.”
– Malcolm Forbes

“I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write
a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”
– Fred Allen 

“I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept
locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on a 20-foot
extension ladder with a coathanger.” -Steven Wright 

“Some things just aren’t funny. Beatings aren’t funny. Mimes
aren’t funny. But beating a mime – why is that so hilarious?”
— Dave Attell 

 “There’s a statistical theory that if you gave a million
monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they’d eventually
come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to
the Internet, we now know this isn’t true.” –Ian Hart



Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

During a hike with my friend I noticed a black bird roosting
in a nearby tree. “I’ve always wondered what the difference
is between a crow and a raven,” I said.

“You have to count the pinion feathers on the wings,” my
friend explained. “If there are four, it’s a crow. If it’s
five, it’s a raven.”

“Really?” I said, although I knew he didn’t have a clue what
he was talking about.

“Oh yes,” he replied, “the difference is just a matter of a pinion.”  😱😳😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you?”

“Goodfellas” tells the story of mobster-turned-FBI-informant Henry Hill, and his 25 year association with the New York City Mafia. Ray Liotta, who plays Hill in the film, is part of a stellar cast which also includes, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci and Paul Sorvino. The quote appears in a scene where mob henchman and resident psychopath Tommy DeVito, played brilliantly by Pesci, is having dinner and drinks with some associates, including Henry. After Tommy tells the group an amusing story, Henry comments on what a funny guy he is, after which DeVito, who pretends to be insulted by the comment, goes on a very intense rant. It’s a great performance and one of the reasons why Joe Pesci took home the Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role at 1991 Academy Awards.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.”



Monday’s Quizzler is….

When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.

1. Royal ruler -> Relatives; family
2. Musical composition with words -> Offspring
3. Musically produce words with the voice -> Transgression
4. Having ambitious goals -> Fever and pain medicine
5. Bird limb -> To be victorious
6. Long, sharp tooth -> Enthusiastic follower
7. Depending or building on something -> Container for water
8. Moving up and down (in water) -> A threaded spool for sewing

Answer: 1. King -> Kin
2. Song -> Son
3. Sing -> Sin
4. Aspiring -> Aspirin
5. Wing -> Win
6. Fang -> Fan
7. Basing -> Basin
8. Bobbing -> Bobbin


Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

In this teaser you are to try and unscramble the set of letters in each set of brackets to complete these quotations. Good luck!

1. We may (FMFIAR) absolutely that (OHTNGIN) great in the (DWLOR) has been (DAECHCSOIMLP) without (NSPOAIS).

2. (ELVI) as if you (ERWE) to die (WTMOROOR). (NLREA) as if you were to (LIEV) (ORERVEF).

3. The way to get (DSETRAT) is to (UQTI) (GLATNIK) and (NBEIG) (ODGNI).




LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/


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2 thoughts on “Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

    1. Hey my apologies, but its a busy time for me. Well it’s about time you watched it sir, I was about to explode with nobody to talk to but them came Game of Thrones, In to the Badlands and the avengers and Star Trek was quickly forgotten. But what a season right? I can’t weight to see the next season. I’ll send the same link and keep that dropbox open for sharing! Enjoy the rest of your day sir and I will see you online!

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