Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday June 6, 2019

Here’s the story….

This guy is walking through Chinatown. He is fascinated with all the Chinese Restaurants, the Chinese shops, the Chinese signs and banners on the buildings. He is having the best time just walking and looking. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry”. “Hans Olaffsen?”, he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?”. So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner..

The visitor asks, “How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?”. The old man answers “Is name of owner.” The visitor asks “Well, who in the heck is the owner?”. “I am he”, answers the old man. “You? How in the heck did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?”

The old man replies, “Many years ago when I come to this country, I was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go “What your name? He say Hans Olaffsen. She look at me…What your name? I say Sam Ting.” 😱😳😎

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“I am a Marxist–of the Groucho tendency.”

– Anonymous

“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.”

– Totie Fields

“My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the

sincerity of the pessimists.”- Jean Rostand

“I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so

they won’t think something’s wrong with me.” –Elayne Boosler

My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist…

for most of their married life they fought tooth and nail. 😱

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

Heading down the interstate, our car passed through a huge
swarm of gnats so dense that their bodies made popping noises
as they hit the windshield. “I can’t get over how loud they
are,” my wife said.

“Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour,” I pointed out.
Her reply left me speechless. “There’s no way bugs can fly that fast!” 😳😁😎

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“I’ll have what she’s having.”

Answer: When Harry Met Sally…
Released in 1989, “When Harry Met Sally…” was directed by Rob Reiner and stars Billy Crystal as Harry Burns and Meg Ryan as Sally Albright. The title characters first meet in 1977, when they share a ride to New York City following their graduation from the University of Chicago. During the drive they have a conversation about whether or not a man and a women can have a truly platonic relationship, Sally thinks it’s possible, while Harry doesn’t believe it is, saying, “the sex part gets in the way”. After arriving in New York they agree to disagree and go their separate ways. But as in most romantic comedies, they eventually fall in love and live happily ever after. The quote comes from a scene at Katz’s Delicatessen in Manhattan, where Harry and Sally are having lunch. After Sally demonstrates how easy it is to fake an orgasm, a woman in the deli, played by the director’s mother Estelle Reiner, delivers the line. Katz’s still has a sign hanging above the table where the two sat which reads, “Where Harry Met Sally…Hope You Have What She Had!”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I’m walking here! I’m walking here!”

TODAY’S MOVIE DIVA OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! NICE WORK KIM! 👍👍👍🙇‍♀️

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

Decapitate me and all becomes equal. Then truncate me and I become second.

Cut me front and back and I become two less than I started.
What am I?

Answer: The word Seven.

seven
even (equal)
eve (2nd person, according to the Bible)
v (Roman numeral five; two less than seven)

Now you get it 😀

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

As his name would suggest, Joe was not a meek, quiet fellow. In fact he had such difficulty keeping quiet, both his local and university library banned him. His roommate, being a music major and a sound engineer, said he could solve his problem, but Joe would need to trust him. He gave Joe his 75-watt ghetto blaster, a CD, fake mustache, and a long blond wig. Joe, who is sceptical but intrigued, decided to give it a shot. Joe, disguised as one of the professors, entered the university library. He placed the CD player on the table in front of him; loaded the CD; cranked the volume full and braced himself as he turned it on. Surprisingly there was only a very very faint sshh. Joe then realized that he couldn’t hear anything at all. He spoke normally, and then yelled, but no one reacted. Awesome, he thought as he began flailing his arms around and shouting as loud as he could. Unfortunately, the librarian, seeing him moving but hearing nothing, assumed he was choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on him, knocking his wig off, causing the librarian to perform the hind kick maneuver right out the door. Poor Joe.
But what had his roommate done? What was on that mysterious CD that made everything quiet?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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