Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday June 18, 2019

Thoughts…

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him or her,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics….

Then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people

& whatever you all do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“There is a new version of the Bible that has updated language that’s coming out.

For example, it refers to Jesus’ disciples as ‘wingmen.'” -Conan O’Brien

“A French fashion label is now offering a pair of $570 jeans that come without a butt.

There’s nothing in the butt. I have got to tell you, these jeans are a great way of telling

your friends and coworkers that your father never paid enough attention to you.” -James Corden

“A new study found that many popular oregano brands are really olive leaves and other

leaves falsely labeled as oregano. Or as high school stoners put it, ‘Wait, this still isn’t marijuana?'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment. One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital. After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, “Do you know what caused the fall?”
“No,” the woman nervously replied. “What?” 😱😳

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Well, the truth of the matter is, I don’t report to a Commissioner. I report to a committee. Some of whom are are appointed, some elected, and the rest co-opted on a bi-annual basis. It’s a quorum, so to speak.”

Answer: So I Married an Axe-Murderer!

The scene for this quote takes place as the Precinct Captain (Arkin) explains to Tony (Anthony Lapaglia) why it is impossible for him to explain Tony’s screwball antics to his boss. appointed, some elected, and the rest co-opted on a bi-annual basis. It’s a quorum, so to speak.”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You know, I have this crazy philosophy that your grades should represent your grasp of the material and not your negotiating skills, which are amazing, by the way.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….

You may find fire within me
Though to water I’ve been compared.
You may also find a twinkle
When through my pane you stare.

When of wind I am the calm
The center holding still.
When of you, a different part
My bottom lid, my sill.

You may look into me
only to see through.
You may indeed look out of me
Through my frame of varied hue.

The riddle in three parts
as letters in my name.
The riddle shows you who I am
But tell me just the same.

Who am I?

Answer: An eye.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

Five People went to the pet shop on different days of the week. They each bought a different breed of dog and a different color dog bowl for them. There are three girls and two guys.
Girl’s Names: Ashley, Camile, and Jenny
Guy’s Names: Andrew and Brandon
Last Names: Anderson, White, Miller, Green, and Smith
Dog Breeds: St. Bernard, Pug, Golden Retriever, Australian Shepherd, and Bulldog
Bowl Colors: Pink, Purple, Green, Blue, and Yellow
Days: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday

1. No one’s first name starts with the same letter as their last name or the first letter of the breed of dog they bought.

2. Andrew’s last name is Green, but it’s not his favorite color, nor is it the color of his bowl.

3. The order in which they bought their dogs are as follows: The guy whose bowl is yellow, the one who bought the St. Bernard, the girl whose last name is White, the person with the pink bowl, and Brandon.

4. Camile bought her dog before Ashley (who has a blue bowl) but after the person with the yellow bowl.

5. Jenny and Camile both hate the color green and they spent all day at the park together on Wednesday.

6. The girl whose last name is Miller and the girl whose last name is Smith are, in some order, the one who bought the Australian Shepherd, and the one who bought their dog on Tuesday.

7. Each of the guys bought one of the two small dogs.

8. The girl whose last name is Miller bought her dog after the girl who bought the purple bowl.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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