Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday June 19, 2019

Rules to keep in mind when using the Queen’s Engerlish:

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).

6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.

11. Contractions aren’t helpful and shouldn’t be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

14. One should never generalize.

15. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. 😁😎

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people

& whatever you all do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money,

persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a

little—weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter can blow it to rags and

atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle

A good laugh is a mighty good thing, a rather too scarce a good thing. — Herman Melville

A good laugh is sunshine in the house. — William Thackeray

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. — Phyllis Diller

A smile starts on the lips, a grin spreads to the eyes, a chuckle comes from the belly; but a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, overflows, and bubbles all around. — Carolyn Birmingham

A well-balanced person is one who finds both sides of an issue laughable. — Herbert Procknow

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. — Mark Twain

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. — Lord Byron

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. — W. H. Auden

An optimist laughs to forget; a pessimist forgets to laugh. — Tom Nansbury

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to order a quart of potato salad.

“We don’t sell it by the quart,” the clerk snapped. “Okay, then give me two pints, please,”

I replied. I’m proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, “Do you want it in one container?”😱😳😐😎

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You know, I have this crazy philosophy that your grades should represent your grasp of the material and not your negotiating skills, which are amazing, by the way.”

Answer: Loser!
The scene for this quote comes during a confrontation between Alcott (Kinnear) and Tannek (Biggs) when Tannek informs Alcott that he wants to earn the grade he receives for his paper and not an “A” for blackmailing him.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“I’m not fat.” “Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….

Five People went to the pet shop on different days of the week. They each bought a different breed of dog and a different color dog bowl for them. There are three girls and two guys.
Girl’s Names: Ashley, Camile, and Jenny
Guy’s Names: Andrew and Brandon
Last Names: Anderson, White, Miller, Green, and Smith
Dog Breeds: St. Bernard, Pug, Golden Retriever, Australian Shepherd, and Bulldog
Bowl Colors: Pink, Purple, Green, Blue, and Yellow
Days: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday

1. No one’s first name starts with the same letter as their last name or the first letter of the breed of dog they bought.

2. Andrew’s last name is Green, but it’s not his favorite color, nor is it the color of his bowl.

3. The order in which they bought their dogs are as follows: The guy whose bowl is yellow, the one who bought the St. Bernard, the girl whose last name is White, the person with the pink bowl, and Brandon.

4. Camile bought her dog before Ashley (who has a blue bowl) but after the person with the yellow bowl.

5. Jenny and Camile both hate the color green and they spent all day at the park together on Wednesday.

6. The girl whose last name is Miller and the girl whose last name is Smith are, in some order, the one who bought the Australian Shepherd, and the one who bought their dog on Tuesday.

7. Each of the guys bought one of the two small dogs.

8. The girl whose last name is Miller bought her dog after the girl who bought the purple bowl.

Answer:

Ashley: White, Golden Retriever, Blue, Wednesday

Camile: Smith, St. Bernard, Purple, Tuesday

Jenny: Miller, Australian Shepherd, Pink, Thursday

Andrew: Green, Bulldog, Yellow, Monday

Brandon: Anderson, Pug, Green, Friday

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

Many of our everyday words have more than one meaning. Below are 13 pairs of definitions; both definitions in each pair fit the same word. When read down, the first letters of the word will spell out the name of the first person who invented the first modern pinball machine.

1. Small quantity of water or let fall
2. Airplane parking area or kitchen garment
3. Empty space or rug cleaning machine
4. Significance or ship in foreign merchandise
5. Boat’s floor or pack of cards
6. Some eyewear or drinking vessels
7. Mountain scenery stop or fail to notice
8. Bank employee or narrator
9. Screw groove or sewing cord
10. Portion of a trip or table support
11. Creamy color or tusk material
12. Divisible by two or balanced
13. Young Girl Scout or chocolate dessert

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com