Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday June 20, 2019 

Subject:  Tech Support:

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
My Girlfriends Advice 5.1 doesn’t ever seem to work right and Chocolate 5.1 only provides temporary relief. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate

————————————————————–

DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: Ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1  Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 – These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 5.0 and Hot Lingerie 9.7 Remember when all else fails, you can always install Jesus Savs 10.0 into the relationship, it always works. Good Luck!Tech Support.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people & whatever you all do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat.” -Conan O’Brien

“A restaurant here in New York is serving a grilled cheese-flavored martini. Or as parents put it, ‘Finally,  a way to get my kids to finish their martinis.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists said yesterday that the T. rex may have had teeth serrated like a steak knife, which may have helped it eat meat more efficiently. Experts believe the T. rex evolved the knife-like teeth after having so much trouble using regular silverware.” -Seth Meyers


 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
While watching my grandson’s baseball game, I saw a young mother with her toddler on one of those child leashes. She was talking with another mom about an incident that happened earlier that morning. Her little Chihuahua was sick, and she had raised people’s eyes as she walked into the vet’s office with her dog in her arms and her child on a leash.😱
All I could think was, “What’s wrong with this picture!”

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I’m not fat.” “Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density.”

Answer:  The Breakfast Club
The scene for this quote takes place as John (Judd Nelson) tries to irritate Claire (Molly Ringwald) because he views her as stuck-up and wants to bring her ego down.

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Ah Miss Blaine, you dance like a herd of cattle. You are a rare woman who lights up a room simply by leaving it!”

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

Many of our everyday words have more than one meaning. Below are 13 pairs of definitions; both definitions in each pair fit the same word. When read down, the first letters of the word will spell out the name of the first person who invented the first modern pinball machine.

1. Small quantity of water or let fall
2. Airplane parking area or kitchen garment
3. Empty space or rug cleaning machine
4. Significance or ship in foreign merchandise
5. Boat’s floor or pack of cards
6. Some eyewear or drinking vessels
7. Mountain scenery stop or fail to notice
8. Bank employee or narrator
9. Screw groove or sewing cord
10. Portion of a trip or table support
11. Creamy color or tusk material
12. Divisible by two or balanced
13. Young Girl Scout or chocolate dessert

Answer:  David Gottlieb

1. Drop
2. Apron
3. Vacuum
4. Import
5. Deck
6. Glasses
7. Overlook
8. Teller
9. Thread
10. Leg
11. Ivory
12. Even
13. Brownie

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

Feed, good, and kiss are 3 examples of words with double letters. Use the clues and fill in the blanks to find words with consecutive double letters. Remember, these words have 2 sets of double letters in a row!

1. A woodwind instrument that dates back to the mid 16th century.
B _ _ _ _ _ N

2. A sweet treat that is sometimes made with nuts or raisins.
T _ _ _ _ E

3. A term that can be used to describe boats and ships.
K _ _ _ _ _ _ S

4. A character in a courtroom.
A _ _ _ _ _ _ E

—Experts Only!—
5. A Belgian language.
W _ _ _ _ _ N

—Just For Fun!—
6. This word has 3 consecutive double letters!
B _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ R

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com
 

 

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