Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

96857a9aa588c1704cbc3fa19dc4acde

WELCOME to Tuesday June 25, 2019

Here’s the story…

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, “To what do you attribute your good health?” The old timer said, “I’m a golfer and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.” The doctor said, “Well, I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?” The old timer said, “Who said my father’s dead?” The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your father is still alive? How old is he?” The old timer said, “He’s 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That’s why he’s still alive, he’s a golfer.” The doctor said, “Well, that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?” The old timer said, “Who said my grandpa’s dead?”  The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! How old is he?” The old timer said, “He’s 118 yrs old.” The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, “I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?” The old timer said, “No…Grandpa couldn’t go this morning

because he got married.” The doctor said in amazement, “Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?” The old timer shot back, “Who said he wanted to?” 😱😁😎 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a Happy Tuesday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“He’s the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch.” – Unknown

 
“Realism…has no more to do with reality than anything else.” – Hob Broun

 
“What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as
we open and shut our eyes!” – Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

 
“Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.” – Jules Renard
 
 
“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.” – George Bernard Shaw

 
“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.” – Jeff Marder
 
 
“When you were a little kid remember how hard it was to get a cookie? Way in the back, unless your mom was really mean-then they’d be on top of the refrigerator. Nowhere on a package of Oreos does it say, ‘Keep out of reach of small children.’ Where’s the Liquid Drano? Under the sink, right next to the rest of the poisons.” –Mike Bullard 😳
 
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
As an engineer in an upscale hotel, I was asked to repair or replace the television in a guest room. When I arrived, the couple was watching a picture one-third the size of the screen. I knew all our spare sets were in use, so I figured what the heck: I struck the side of the TV with the heel of my hand. Just my luck the picture returned to full size. “Look, honey,” said the wife to her husband. “He went to the same repair school as you.”😁
 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him. He was hit by a Guinness truck.” 

Answer:  Mrs. Doubtfire!
The scene from this quote comes as Danial Hillard disguised as Mrs. Doubtfire explains to Miranda
Hillard how her husband passed away.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone? Anyone?… the Great Depression, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?… raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects?
 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is….

Using a combination of letters and/or numbers to sound out the answers, can you solve the clues? (The first one is free)

1. Not difficult – EZ (Easy)
2. Unoccupied
3. To do better than others
4. Defeated
5. A number (use only letters for this one)
6. A sport
7. Freezing

 

Answer:

2. MT (Empty)
3. XL (Excel)
4. B10 (Beaten)
5. AT (Eighty)
6. 10S (Tennis)
7. IC (Icy)

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

You thank the last person as they step outside, “It’s been a lovely evening, drive safely!” You wait in the doorway to see them off, waving as the car begins to pull away. Closing the door, you breathe a tired sigh.

You stroll into the living room before it finally hits you. After weeks of discussions and the purchase of a 5-story building downtown, you are finally the proud owner of your very own clothing empire! You’ve just closed negotiations with 5 designers who have started their own small companies, but haven’t been able to hit it big yet. Aside from settling on a salary for each of them, you also agreed to hire the employees they already have. This is indeed a wonderful moment for you! “YES,” you yell enthusiastically!

Startled, your cat jumps sideways off the couch, landing on the coffee table and knocking a glass of wine all over your papers. Your delight quickly turns to horror as you realize what your precious (and soon-to-die) tabby has just done. You dash into the kitchen for some napkins but it’s too late; half of your papers are already ruined. You can’t believe it. You just spent all night sorting out the details, and you would really prefer to not have another 8 hour evening with those crazy designers! Besides, they might try to change their salaries.

With the information you have left, can you figure out what salary you agreed on with each designer, which item they design, how many employees they have, and on which floor of your new building they will be located?

Designers: Aimee, Claude, Darla, Evan, Faye
Items: Purses, Pants, Skirts, Shoes, Tops
Floors: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Number of Employees: 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Salary: 133k, 138k, 141k, 146k, 152k

1. The salary of the person designing pants is more than Darla, but less than the designer on the 2nd floor.
2. The five unique designers are: Faye, the one designing purses, the one on the 5th floor, the one whose salary is 146k, and the one with 5 employees.
3. Only 15 employees will work above the 3rd floor.
4. The shoe designer does not have the lowest salary, despite having the fewest employees.
5. The sum of the numbers in one designer’s salary is also their total number of employees.
6. The salary of the designer on the 3rd floor is 138k.
7. The five different floors are: the floor with 9 employees, the floor of the 133k salary, the floor Aimee is on, the 2nd floor, and the floor where the tops are designed.
8. The designer on the 1st floor has the same number of employees as letters in their name.
9. The purse designer has the most employees, but she doesn’t have the highest salary.
10. You remember that Faye really likes purses, but that has nothing to do with this puzzle.

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

Posted In

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s