Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday June 26, 2019

INTERESTING THOUGHTS….(that could get you shot😏)

 
1. How many men does it take to open a beer? None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.
 
2. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It’s one of those “evolutionary things”
that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
 
3. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts
her sentence with “A man once told me.”  
 
4. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who
do you let in first? The dog of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
 
5. All wives are alike. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
 
6. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don’t like to interrupt her.
 
7. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Many say monogamy is the same.
 
8. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%. It is called Wedding Cake. 😐
 
9. Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
 
10. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
 
11. Young Son: “Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his
wife until he marries her?” Dad: That happens in every country, son.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Remember NOT to shoot the messenger, and have a wonderful Wednesday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost

“Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.” – Philip K. Dick

“Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and
readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.” – Fran Lebowitz
 
“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.” –George Carlin
“Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.” – Will Rogers

“The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum.” – Havelock Ellis

“Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves.” – Henri-Frederic Amiel
 
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the ‘unbreakable’ comb for everyone to see and said, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside.” 😳😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone? Anyone?… the Great Depression, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?… raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects?

Answer:   Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!
The scene for this quote takes place as Stein as the Economics teacher tries make a point to room full of disinterested students.

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pig slop. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. And do you know why? Because there’s no crying in baseball. THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!”

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….

You thank the last person as they step outside, “It’s been a lovely evening, drive safely!” You wait in the doorway to see them off, waving as the car begins to pull away. Closing the door, you breathe a tired sigh.

You stroll into the living room before it finally hits you. After weeks of discussions and the purchase of a 5-story building downtown, you are finally the proud owner of your very own clothing empire! You’ve just closed negotiations with 5 designers who have started their own small companies, but haven’t been able to hit it big yet. Aside from settling on a salary for each of them, you also agreed to hire the employees they already have. This is indeed a wonderful moment for you! “YES,” you yell enthusiastically!

Startled, your cat jumps sideways off the couch, landing on the coffee table and knocking a glass of wine all over your papers. Your delight quickly turns to horror as you realize what your precious (and soon-to-die) tabby has just done. You dash into the kitchen for some napkins but it’s too late; half of your papers are already ruined. You can’t believe it. You just spent all night sorting out the details, and you would really prefer to not have another 8 hour evening with those crazy designers! Besides, they might try to change their salaries.

With the information you have left, can you figure out what salary you agreed on with each designer, which item they design, how many employees they have, and on which floor of your new building they will be located?

Designers: Aimee, Claude, Darla, Evan, Faye
Items: Purses, Pants, Skirts, Shoes, Tops
Floors: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Number of Employees: 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Salary: 133k, 138k, 141k, 146k, 152k

1. The salary of the person designing pants is more than Darla, but less than the designer on the 2nd floor.
2. The five unique designers are: Faye, the one designing purses, the one on the 5th floor, the one whose salary is 146k, and the one with 5 employees.
3. Only 15 employees will work above the 3rd floor.
4. The shoe designer does not have the lowest salary, despite having the fewest employees.
5. The sum of the numbers in one designer’s salary is also their total number of employees.
6. The salary of the designer on the 3rd floor is 138k.
7. The five different floors are: the floor with 9 employees, the floor of the 133k salary, the floor Aimee is on, the 2nd floor, and the floor where the tops are designed.
8. The designer on the 1st floor has the same number of employees as letters in their name.
9. The purse designer has the most employees, but she doesn’t have the highest salary.
10. You remember that Faye really likes purses, but that has nothing to do with this puzzle.

Answer: Aimee: Pants, 5th Floor, 8 employees, 141k
Claude: Tops, 1st Floor, 6 employees, 146k
Darla: Purses, 3rd Floor, 9 employees, 138k
Evan: Shoes, 2nd Floor, 5 employees, 152k
Faye: Skirts, 4th Floor, 7 employees, 133k

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

The following clues lead to two words or phrases that are the phonetic reverse of each other. When you answer the first clue and flip the syllables, you get the second answer. (Phonetic only, not letters.)Using the clues below, please find the words/phrases in question.

Example: Impertinent * Teetertotter
Answer: Saucy/Seesaw

1. A clock or watch * Period between wars (2 words)
2. Fabulous * Chase after
3. Have faith in * Not disturb (2 words)
4. European weight, informally * Understated (Hyphenated)
5. Student, say, with a summer office job * Go to bed (2 words)

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

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