Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday June 27, 2019

Contemporary Latin Phrases:

“Domino vobiscum.” (The pizza guy is here.)

“Auda similarum ad seattles.” (They all sound just like Pearl Jam.)

“Sharpei diem.” (Seize the wrinkled dog.)

“Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus.” (Remove foil before microwaving.)

“Il guyus nissanem iste ickye.” (That Nissan guy gives me the creeps.)

“Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi ad infinitum.” (Better take the nose ring out before the job interview.)

“Motorolus interruptus.” (Hold on, I’m going into a tunnel.)

“Veni, vidi, Pesci.” (I came, I saw, I moidered da bum.)

“Revelare Pecunia!” (Show Me The Money!)

“Sic semper tyrannus.” (Your dinosaur is ill.)

“No Quid Pro Quo.” (I’m Sorry, We’re All Out of Quid.)

“Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus.” (It’s Now Safe To Turn Off Your Computer.)

“Veni, Vidi, Velcro” (I came; I saw; I stuck around.)

“Et tu, pluribus unum?” (The government just stabbed me in the back!)

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people & whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Goodwill has returned almost $100,000 in cash that was mistakenly donated to them

in a black duffel bag. A spokesman for Goodwill said, ‘We’re not very bright.'” -Conan O’Brien

“A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn’t sound too bad to me. You’d probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A 94-year-old man is graduating from West Virginia University. Just imagine how awkward it’s going to be for the commencement speaker when he says, ‘You have your whole life ahead of you. Except that dude.'” -Seth Meyers

“A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order.” -Conan O’Brien

“Summer officially begins tonight. So if you’re wondering why your kids stopped going to school, that’s probably the reason.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A company has developed a smart duvet, which can control a person’s body temperature. The way it works is, when you get hot you kick it off.” -Seth Meyers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Spanish never came easily to my sister. Still, she did her best to communicate with the Spanish-speaking staff at the restaurant she managed. But when she made mistakes-and she made a lot-she’d apologize by saying, “Me estupido.”

Finally, a staffer took pity on her. “Susanna, you’re not estupido,” she said, bucking up my sister’s ego. “You are a woman,” she continued. “So you are estupida.” 😐

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pig slop. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry? NO. And do you know why? Because there’s no crying in baseball. THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!”

Answer: A League of Their Own!
The scene for this quote comes directly after Dugan (Hanks) has criticized Evelyn Gardner (Bitty Schram) for making a throw to the wrong cutoff man on a flyball.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen “The Exorcist” about a hundred and sixty-seven times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it… not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy… now what do you think? You think I’m qualified?”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

The following clues lead to two words or phrases that are the phonetic reverse of each other. When you answer the first clue and flip the syllables, you get the second answer. (Phonetic only, not letters.)Using the clues below, please find the words/phrases in question.

Example: Impertinent * Teetertotter
Answer: Saucy/Seesaw

1. A clock or watch * Period between wars (2 words)
2. Fabulous * Chase after
3. Have faith in * Not disturb (2 words)
4. European weight, informally * Understated (Hyphenated)
5. Student, say, with a summer office job * Go to bed (2 words)

Answer: 1. Timepiece / Peace Time
2. Super / Pursue
3. Believe / Leave be
4. Kilo / Low-key
5. Intern / Turn in

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

We’re all nuts .. can you name us?

1. Big country in South America.
2. A pod is my pad.
3. This came down in Germany.
4. Confection ingredient.
5. Sneaking a look-on.
6. Gorillas show dominance by beating this.
7. May be found in the company of a witch.

Scoring:
1-3 right. Sorry, you’re normal.
4-5 right. I’m beginning to worry about you!
6-7 right. Definitely certifiable nut expert!

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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