Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday June 28, 2019

Here’s the story….

Because of the reaction people have when they wake up and realize it’s a workday again

and the weekend is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday.

Many people too busy to cook on the second day of the week just open a can of

beans. Hence the day is known as Tootsday.

By the third day of the week, people are wondering when they can ever find the time to

get everything done this week that they need to, hence the day is known as Whensday.

Too bleary to even count properly, people think it’s only Day Three of the week on the next day, therefore it’s erroneously called Thirdsday.

On the last day of the workweek, people often go out “for a few” after work. By the time they get home, they’re too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw a piece of meat, chicken, or fish in the skillet. That’s why the day is known as Fryday.

Saturday night all the singles let loose. There’s a lot of hijinks. It’s pretty obvious why the day is called Satyrday.

And on the last day of the week–and the weekend–people look at all the items on their to-do lists that didn’t get crossed off, groan aloud, and make themselves promises they won’t keep. Therefore the day is called Soonday.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people & whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.” – Will Rogers

“The place where optimism most flourishes

is the lunatic asylum.” – Havelock Ellis

“Charm is the quality in others that makes us more

satisfied with ourselves.” – Henri-Frederic Amiel

“The worst thing about Europe is that you can’t go out in

the middle of the night and get a Slurpee.” – Tellis Frank

“The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.” – Willem de Kooning

“First you’re an unknown, then you write one book and

you move up to obscurity.” – Martin Myers

“The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly

being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” – George F. Will

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single

word of what I am saying.” -Oscar Wilde

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get

a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher and that is a good thing for any man.” -Socrates

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout. “Scout, you must use all your thirty years of skills for me and try to estimate the sort of army we are up against here.” The trusty Indian Scout lays down and puts his ear to the ground. “Large war party,” he says, “maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. Many, many guns! Medicine man also with them.” “Good grief!” exclaims the General, “you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground?” “NO,” replied the Indian. “I can see under the gate.” 😱😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen “The Exorcist” about a hundred and sixty-seven times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it… not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy… now what do you think? You think I’m qualified?”

Answer: Beetlejuice!
The scene for this quote comes as Betelguese explains his qualifications to Barbara and Adam Maitland (Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin) for scaring away the living inhabitants of their former home.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I had to live with that squealing, corpulent little toad all these years. God, I hate that woman. I – I – I hate the way she licks stamps! I hate her furniture! And I hate that little sound she makes when she sleeps.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….

We’re all nuts .. can you name us?

1. Big country in South America.
2. A pod is my pad.
3. This came down in Germany.
4. Confection ingredient.
5. Sneaking a look-on.
6. Gorillas show dominance by beating this.
7. May be found in the company of a witch.

Scoring:
1-3 right. Sorry, you’re normal.
4-5 right. I’m beginning to worry about you!
6-7 right. Definitely certifiable nut expert!

Answer: 1. Brazil
2. Peanut
3. Walnut (The Berlin wall)
4. Coconut
5. Pecan (Peek on)
6. Chestnut (Gorillas drum on their chest as a threat)
7. Hazelnut (Witch Hazel)

Friday’s Quizzler is…….

Can you find a three-letter word that will go in front of each word in the group to make a new, compound word? For each group, the three-letter word will have just one letter changed from the answer to the previous group! (Example: Group 1 = Run, Group 2 = Fun, Group 3 = Sun)

1) Fight, walk, fish, nap

2) Back, throat, lass, let

3) Case, cracker, house, shell

4) Side, come, match, size

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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