Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

1bd15f6f2cb84bf250f76965183c1be4WELCOME to Thursday July 11, 2019

According to Women… Men Are Like…

…placemats, they only show up when there’s food on the table.
…mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
…bike helmets, they’re good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
…government bonds, they take so long to mature.
…copiers, you need them in reproduction but that’s about it.
…lava lamps, fun to look at it but not all that bright.
…bank accounts, without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
…high heels, they’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
…curling irons, they’re always hot and always in your hair.
…mini skirts, if your not careful they’ll creep up your legs.

…handguns, keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people & whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 



“If little else, the brain is an educational toy.” – Tom Robbins

“Invention is the mother of necessity.” – Thorstein Veblen
“A popular item this year is gift cards. There’s nothing like saying, ‘I don’t care, I don’t know
what you want, but have this and you’ll find something you like at this store.'” –Jay Leno
“The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something
we do not understand.” – Frank Herbert

“The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators
would be dead.” – Johnny Carson
“You know you’re on a die when cat food commercials
make you hungry.” –Andy Bumatai
“What’s right is what’s left if you do everything wrong.” –Robin Williams

“I was stopped once for going fifty-three in a thirty-five
mile zone, but I told them I had dyslexia.” –Spanky 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they were having a pretty good season. One morning, he was shaving and the phone rang. His wife answered it and called out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him.  Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he cut himself with his razor.  Covered with blood and shaving lather and running
downstairs to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally, bleeding and bruised, he made it to the phone and breathlessly said, “Hello”?  The voice on the other end asked, “Is this Speedy Morris”? “Yes, yes!” he replied excitedly.  Then the voice continued, “Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated.” 😐😳😎 


Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Auda will not come to Aqaba. Not for money… for Feisal… nor to drive away the Turks. He will come… because it is his pleasure.”
“Thy mother mated with a scorpion.”

Answer:   Lawrence of Arabia!
In this scene British Lieutenant T.E. Lawrence (a.k.a. Lawrence of Arabia, played by Peter O’Toole), the eccentric British officer in World War I who united the desert tribes of Arabia against the Turks, is attempting to convince the various Arab tribes to unite into one big army and cross the Nafud Desert to attack the port city of Aqaba from the rear. The Turks’ artillery pieces are intended to defend against a sea attack and cannot be turned inland. He insightfully sizes up an important Arab leader (Anthony Quinn) and says line one. When Auda realizes Lawrence has said the right thing to make him agree, he replies with line two. This movie is based on a true story.


Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Do you remember me?”
“I never did her any harm. It was my right.”


Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

Each of the clues below describe the name of a candy. Can you name them? Example: Galaxy would be a Milky Way.

1. Sign of affection
2. Favorite day for working people
3. Can’t hold on to anything
4. Famous swashbuckling trio
5. Sun explosions


Answer: 1. Kisses
2. Payday
3. Butterfingers
4. 3 Musketeers
5. Starbursts

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

Can you identify the following songs and their artists?

1) Refrain from halting, the first person, immediately.
by Female monarch.

2) Multiple timepieces.
by Low temperature, stage production.

3) Unbleached, natural sweetener.
by Perpetual motion of small rock.

4) Sugary infant, belonging to me.
by Firearms & thorny plants.

5) Refrain from remaining, on your feet, near myself.
by Poisoned insect injection.




LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.




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