Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday July 18, 2019

BUSINESS QUOTES:

1. Accomplishing the impossible only means the boss will add it to your regular duties.

2. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

3. Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are held to discuss it.

4. Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.

5. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. (Robert Frost)

6. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

7. A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. (Sir Barnett Cocks)

8. Doing nothing is tiring because you can’t stop to rest.

9. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

10. Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. (Dr. Lawrence J. Peter – The Peter Principle)

11. Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people & whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.” – Russel Lynes

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

“Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect; it just means

you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.” –Unknown

“Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating

the misery of another.” –Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

“Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp,

but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” -Nathaniel Hawthorne

"In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a 
shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress." - John Adams

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

One night when I dropped in at the police station on my news beat, a large, efficient-looking woman in uniform who packed

a service revolver at her waist was behind the sergeant’s desk. After checking the blotter, I returned to the car, where my wife was waiting for me. “You should see the new woman on the force,” I said. “She’s huge, and wearing a .38.”

I didn’t notice the silence until my wife broke it icily with, “I wear a 38.” 😳

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Coffee makes me nervous when I drink it. Mmm.”?

Answer: Sling Blade!
The 1996 hit “Sling Blade” was a surprise hit and helped make a star out of actor/director Billy Bob Thornton. Thornton’s character, Karl Childers, is a mentally impaired, middle-aged man who had been held in a psychiatric hospital since early adolescence, after he killed his mother and her boyfriend. The movie focuses on his friendship with a 12 year old boy named Frank. He is sitting with Linda, Franks mother, when she offers him some coffee that she is fixing to brew. Karl likes everything to be calm and the caffeine in coffee makes him uneasy. This award winning movie attempted to show life in a small southern American town and included all the prejudices and simple pleasures of living in this area.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “It’s all in the grind Sizemore. Can’t be too fine, can’t be too coarse. This, my friend, is a science.”?

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow. “Who is this incredibly fine archer?” cried the duke. “I must find him!”

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets. “You didn’t just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?” asked the duke worriedly. “No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold
holy.” “That is truly astonishing,” said the duke. “I hereby admit you into my service.”

The boy thanked him profusely. “But I must ask one favor in return,” the duke continued. “You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot.”

How’d he get to be such a good shot?

Answer: The boy shot the arrow, THEN painted the circle around it.

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

You awake inside a small transparent capsule sitting on the surface of Venus. From a small speaker you hear a voice that says, “We will leave you here either for a day or a year. If you choose to stay a day, we will give you $1 million. If you choose to stay a year, we will give you $2 million. Either way, you will have sufficient food and water. We will make sure the temperature is a constant 70 degrees Fahrenheit. We will also supply cable TV.”

What is your choice? (Don’t let money decide your answer).

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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